> ## Content Index > Fetch the complete content index at: https://www.duffelblog.com/llms.txt > Use this file to discover other available public pages before exploring further. # Fuck! You left your I.D. Card in your computer - URL: https://www.duffelblog.com/fuck-you-left-your-i-d-card-in-your-computer/ - Published: 2026-01-21T13:00:04.000Z - Updated: 2026-02-22T19:02:57.000Z - Description: One minor mistake triggers cascading operational collapse - Author: Cobra Commander - Tags: Army FORT RILEY, Kan. — Fuck! You left your [stupid I.D. card](https://www.duffelblog.com/veteran-id-tracking-devices/) in your stupid computer. Experts confirm this will now cost you the rest of your day. You’ll have to walk all the way back upstairs to get the damned thing out of your office. Oh great, [there’s the XO](https://www.duffelblog.com/new-xo-attempting-to-stamp-out-misuse-of-word-literally/). Don’t make eye contact. You made eye contact with him. He asks you about the [Command and Staff](https://www.duffelblog.com/command-and-staff-students-excited/) brief and whether you have time to “just refactor” a few of the slides. You are now walking in the opposite direction of your [I.D. card.](https://www.duffelblog.com/military-spouse-genitals-now-cac/) He wants the metrics displayed in a slightly different way that no one will notice, but which will almost certainly take several hours to change. According to Outlook — which the Army forced you to install on your phone — this was the only 20 minutes you had to get lunch today, and it’s rapidly evaporating. Not that you were terribly excited about getting a small Subway sandwich with grilled chicken. [Height and weight](https://www.duffelblog.com/army-adds-basically-6-feet-height-option-to-apache-flight-physical/) is in a few weeks and you’re trying to drop the last few pounds because the Secretary of War has decided your personal BMI is a matter of national security. Good gravy, [now S-1](https://www.duffelblog.com/nobody-admin-cares-new-guy-ran-diary-recon/) is asking you about overdue OERs. Can’t you just get a sandwich? Can’t you just get one sandwich without the United States Army falling apart? You lie and say the [OERs](https://www.duffelblog.com/ncoer-facebook-bullet/) are “up at HQDA,” buying yourself a little time. A problem for later. You tell yourself that a lot. The food court line won’t be that bad. You can still make it back before the [training meeting.](https://www.duffelblog.com/operation-meeting-saved-round/) You’ll just have to drive a little faster than usual, which is fine, because consequences are theoretical. Wait. Why is the water buffalo in the company lot? [That water buffalo](https://www.duffelblog.com/army-garrison-admits-poison-supply/) is supposed to be at Range 7\. Why is it here? You ask Staff Sgt. Dylan Jones what’s going on. “Sir, we never got this water buffalo certified,” he reports. You remember, dimly, that water buffalos require certification. You ask what they’re doing for water at Range 7. “We filled up some water cans that said non-potable on them,” Staff Sgt. Jones says. “So the Joes are good.” Your eye starts to twitch. Staff Sgt. Jones, now apparently an expert in water buffalo certification, does not appear to know what “non-potable” means. You wish you hadn’t promised your wife you’d stop dipping. Also, it’s her birthday next week. Another problem for later. You drive like a madman to the PX and grab cases of bottled water for Range 7\. No personally owned vehicles on the range, so you’ll have to coordinate a JLTV or something. Your arms ache as you stand in line, questioning every decision you’ve ever made. The cashier asks for your I.D. card before you can pay. Fuck. You left your I.D. card in [your computer.](https://www.duffelblog.com/pentagon-upgrades-computers-to-windows-95/) [Leave a comment](#ghost-comments-root) 🖊️ ***Cobra Commander** *’s company motto is “When you’re here, your family”. You can follow him on Twitter at @c0brcommand3r.* ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/2025/10/star-div.png) ![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/2025/10/Sunday-divider-Story-roundup--3--1.png) [BREAKING: The Truck Carrying Your Household Goods Just Drove Off A Cliffhttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=\_4jMLR4c71s![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/icon/Duffel-Blog-logo-266.png)Duffel BlogDuffel Blog Staff![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/thumbnail/photo-1614359835514-92f8ba196357)](https://www.duffelblog.com/breaking-truck-carrying-your-household-goods-just-drove-off-a-cliff/) [Outgoing Commander: ‘I Still Hate You All’https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LwiKBFyYBGQ&t=3s The following address was delivered by Capt. Vince Williams at his Headquarters Company change of command ceremony. Good morning everyone. I won’t start with our battalion motto because the very sound of it makes my stomach curdle and my jaw clench with an unholy rage.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/icon/Duffel-Blog-logo-267.png)Duffel BlogDuffel Blog Staff![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/thumbnail/f36745bb-952b-46d2-ace2-1fde336ccf22_639x400-1.jpg)](https://www.duffelblog.com/outgoing-hhc-commander-still-hates-you-all/) [Military websites undergo annual update to make them worse“We’re working hard to make the SIPR sites you need the most confusing piles of shit imaginable,” an official said.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/icon/Duffel-Blog-logo-268.png)Duffel BlogRed Friday![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/thumbnail/1000w-1000x667.webp)](https://www.duffelblog.com/military-websites-undergo-annual-update-to-make-them-worse/) [US accidentally re-invades IraqTroops surprised to find old combat outposts still smell like Axe body spray![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/icon/Duffel-Blog-logo-269.png)Duffel BlogDuffel Blog![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/thumbnail/0f4bab29-c0fa-4c02-915a-2eabbb903105_6269x4179-2.jpg)](https://www.duffelblog.com/us-accidentally-re-invades-iraq/) [Army establishes Virtue Signal CorpsThe operational support branch is responsible for self-righteous, performative displays of arbitrary moral superiority across all domains of warfare.![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/icon/Duffel-Blog-logo-270.png)Duffel BlogRoger Wilco![](https://storage.ghost.io/c/fa/9c/fa9cd1d4-6369-4dde-bbf0-3755aa4734dc/content/images/thumbnail/3b384bca-5bd7-474e-a233-09913bfbb74c_1500x1500.jpg)](https://www.duffelblog.com/army-establishes-virtue-signal-corps/)