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Category: News

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PATCH BARRACKS, Germany — Having recently toured several major military installations, the Supreme Allied Commander and head of US European Command Gen. Curtis Scaparotti expressed bewilderment at the exquisite tidiness of every work-center he has visited. “The realization hit me on the way back from Ramstein,” Scaparotti was overheard telling his enlisted aide. “There has […]
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WASHINGTON — Just in time for the 4th of July, Congress has made significant updates the U.S. Flag Code, the policies written on the proper use of the American flag. “Flag Code was out of date and largely ignored,” said Sen. Francis Scott, a key leader in the initiative. “It didn’t include important topics such […]
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AFGHANISTAN — Feeling the need to intellectually lord over “those ground-pounders who barely passed their ASVAB,” a dickbag Grammar Nazi in the tactical operations center has corrected typos found in your messages sent from outside the wire to a classified mIRC chatroom, sources confirmed today. “Are you shitting me?” your fire team leader whispered as […]
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