THE PENTAGON — The U.S. military’s senior enlisted man says he will personally travel to Syria soon to personally beat ISIS leader Abu Bakr al-Baghdadi over...
KABUL — Afghan National Police Col. Adeeb Safi was promoted to the rank of major general after receiving multiple sexual assault allegations, sources confirmed today. Reports that...
SYRIA — ISIS is initiating a caliphate-wide safety stand-down after one of its members injured himself on Monday with his own explosive device in New York...
THE WHITE HOUSE — President Donald Trump on Monday released his long-awaited strategy for Afghanistan, saying that he plans to surge thousands of additional US troops...
AL-BUKAMAL, Syria — A Syrian Christian man living in an ISIS-controlled town is praising President Donald Trump’s brave stand for Christians around the world, which has...
SEATTLE, Wash. — An upcoming real-time strategy game is designed to let you watch your troops fuck up until you’re fired, sources confirmed today. Titled Counterinsurgency,...
KANDAHAR — An ISIS infantry platoon is still waiting for the IED Team to show up after calling them more than seven hours ago, sources confirmed...
OKINAWA, Japan — Life is not over for you service members in Japan who aren’t allowed to consume alcohol right now! On its Facebook page, Marine...
DAMASCUS, Syria — The mystery of Bugs Bunny’s recent disappearance took a troubling turn after ISIS claimed to have taken him hostage, sources confirmed today. The...
Editor’s Note: The following is the opening excerpt from “A Tourist’s Guide to Afghanistan” by Bowe Bergdahl. The world-renowned author is a former US Army soldier...
SEOUL — President Donald Trump reportedly cancelled plans for a last minute visit to the demilitarized zone between North Korea and South Korea upon learning that...
RIYADH, Saudi Arabia — The number of robot citizens in Saudi Arabia was reduced back to zero today after Sophia Robot was beheaded in a public...
The CIA just released a huge cache of previously-secret documents seized at Osama bin Laden’s compound in Abottabad, Pakistan. With thousands of documents to sift through,...
KABUL — Abdul Hazizi is not just your average, run of the mill Taliban commander. He’s also a patriotic publicly-elected Afghan official. And while it’s not...
RAQQA, Syria — The reign of ISIS will soon be at an end, thanks to the latest overwhelming and decisive tactic employed by the US military:...
