By Red Friday
WASHINGTON — The Army announced on Wednesday it had opened a new leadership school to teach officers how to be better Yes Men.
“I'm proud to announce the opening of the Yes Men Center of Excellence,” said Army Chief Of Staff Gen. James McConville. “It is important that our officers learn to cater to their superior's every whim. The training here will continue to drive out our best talent and leave us wallowing in mediocrity for decades to come.”
According to sources, the school was conceived after Gen. Pat Donahoe said one day in passing, “it’s like these guys were taught to say yes to everything.” A training program was then developed and a schoolhouse was built on Fort Benning before Donahoe’s aides realized he didn’t actually believe yes men were a good thing.
“At that point, we'd spent too much money to question what we were doing,” said Capt. Lucy Stone. “It only took another $37 billion and hundreds of yes men to complete.”
The Yes Men Center of Excellence curriculum is…
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