FORT MCCHRYSTAL, N.C. — Following a growing chorus of people calling to remove Confederate generals from the names of Army bases, the Pentagon today announced their intentions to rename posts for a different set of generals who lost a military campaign, sources confirmed today.

“We have a longstanding tradition of honoring generals who squandered vast amounts of resources who were ultimately left with nothing to show for it,” said Defense Secretary Mark Esper.

The 10 bases are located in southern states and were named after Confederate generals during the Jim Crow era, presumably to affirm white supremacy by members of the Lost Cause movement. Calls to rename the bases have increased after the death of George Floyd, an unarmed black man in police custody, and nationwide protests against police brutality.

“Our generals who led our forces in Afghanistan cost our country in excess of two trillion dollars over the last 18 years, only to inevitably cede all our gains back to the Taliban as so…