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Tag: Captain

NORFOLK, Va. — With the recent firing of Navy Capt. Rachel Haltner, commanding officer of the USNS Comfort, shortly before a deployment to South America, the Navy has officially fired more captains than torpedoes over the last five years, Naval History and Heritage Command has announced. “From March 30, 2010 to March 31, 2015, the Navy has fired 368 […]
FORT BENNING, GA — Capt. Mohammed (No Last Name), Afghanistan’s first student to attend the U.S. Army Maneuver Captain’s Career Course, has received a B+ on his capstone planning exercise, for what his instructors are hailing as an exceptional scheme to kill every single one of them in a mass shooting and subsequent bombings, sources confirmed […]
SCHOFIELD BARRACKS, Hawaii – Fellow soldiers tell Duffel Blog that obtaining a master’s degree at the prestigious Stanford University has turned Army Capt. Brian Dexter into an ‘academicky douchebag.’ Dexter, currently the S3 of 525th Combat Sustainment Support Battalion, attended Stanford University through the Army’s Advanced Civil Schooling (ACS) program following his company command of 525th CSSB’s headquarters company. […]
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