Study: Use Of Military Jargon Validates Pathetic Existence
PHILADELPHIA — A new study from the Wharton School of Business confirmed what millions of employees around the world have known for decades: injecting military jargon...
CENTCOM
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Iraq Keeps Drunk Texting CENTCOM
AL UDEID AIRBASE, Qatar – Returning from a well-deserved holiday break, members of Central Command’s Forward Headquarters were startled to discover more than 100 text messages left...
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Is Air Force Major Eric Newburgh The Fastest Man Alive?
MACDILL AFB, FL — At the edge of a grainy surveillance video taken last month of the main entrance of U.S. Central Command at MacDill...
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Pentagon Proposes New Antarctica Command
WASHINGTON DC – Despite heavy violence in the Middle East and budget shortfalls at home, the Pentagon announced today that it is pressing forward with...
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Awkwardness Ensues As Taliban And US Outsource Operations To Afghan National Army
KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN — Controversy engulfed both U.S. Cental Command (CENTCOM) and the Taliban on Monday, when both were revealed to be outsourcing combat operations to the Afghan...
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‘Real Housewives Of CENTCOM’ To Debut On Bravo This Fall
TAMPA, FL — Sources have learned that Bravo has begun filming a new reality series which is tentatively titled “The Real Housewives of CENTCOM.” The show...
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NASA Discovers Red Star Cluster, Entire Military Ceases Fire
ORLANDO, FL — In a rare move, U.S. combatant commands across the globe called for “cease fire” Friday, after the National Air and Space Administration...
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Source: Most CENTCOM Officers Fail Basic Geography
TAMPA, FL – Sources at United States Central Command revealed today that less than half of the officers assigned to the command could correctly identify...
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CENTCOM Commander ‘Mad Dog’ General James Mattis Set To Retire
TAMPA, FL – Today the United States Central Command (CENTCOM) announced the resignation of its top commander, General James N. Mattis, who plans to retire from...
