NORTH POLE – Another round of high-ranking elves face allegations of corruption through their association with the known convict Fat Blitzen, sources close to Santa confirmed...
FORT BLISS, Texas — Soldiers eating at the Bamford Dining Facility on Christmas Day were awed by a display of “servant leadership” when Col. Ted Murphy, Fort...
WASHINGTON, D.C. — James Mattis may have resigned from his position as the nation’s secretary of Defense on Thursday, but he won’t be out of work long....
SANTA’S WORKSHOP — The North Pole is in the midst of a readiness crisis as it struggles to fill its pilot ranks with qualified reindeer, who...
You honored the hell out of your military friends and family for Veterans Day. And the Marine Corps birthday. And the Fourth of July. And Memorial...
Turkey Prime Minister Gobbler has announced his plans for unconditional surrender to Gen. Santa Clausewitz of the Christmas Empire after many decades of frigid winter combat...
KABUL, Afghanistan — Gen. John Nicholson wrote just one thing on his Christmas list which he mailed to his hero, Santa Claus: A stable Afghanistan built...
WASHINGTON — After pleading guilty to lying to the FBI regarding his contact with Russian officials, former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is hoping the holiday gift...
MARTINSBURG, W.Va. – In yet another case of embarrassing incompetence, a VA center has turned away a group of War on Christmas Veterans seeking basic medical...
VANDENBERG AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. – Airman Alex Johnson finally got the pussy he had always wanted for Christmas this year. “It was so awesome,” Johnson exclaimed...
AL QAYYARAH, Iraq — The self-proclaimed Islamic State has voiced criticism of the nativity scene in front of a local burnt out Grand Immaculate Church, sources confirmed...
NORTH POLE – The world’s largest database of naughty and nice background investigations was compromised by hackers just days before Christmas, sources close to Santa Claus...
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — Lt. Col. Clark Hardwick says he “profoundly regrets” bringing his 18-year-old daughter Cassidy to the battalion Christmas party, sources confirmed today. Hardwick,...
TROMSO, Norway – Marines training in Norway were disappointed recently when they trekked to the North Pole as part of a cold weather training package and...
‘Twas the Duty NCO before Christmas, throughout all gov’rnment property in view Not a creature was stirring, those not on leave were few Having just toured...
