Mattis appointed Ghost of Past, Present and Future Wars
WASHINGTON, D.C. — James Mattis may have resigned from his position as the nation’s secretary of Defense on Thursday, but he won’t be out of work...
Christmas
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North Pole warns of pilot shortage as reindeer leave for commercial sleighlines
SANTA’S WORKSHOP — The North Pole is in the midst of a readiness crisis as it struggles to fill its pilot ranks with qualified reindeer,...
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Duffel Blog Presents: Holiday gift ideas for your favorite vetbro
You honored the hell out of your military friends and family for Veterans Day. And the Marine Corps birthday. And the Fourth of July. And...
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Thanksgiving declares unconditional surrender in War on Christmas
Turkey Prime Minister Gobbler has announced his plans for unconditional surrender to Gen. Santa Clausewitz of the Christmas Empire after many decades of frigid winter...
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General still believes in Santa, counterinsurgency
KABUL, Afghanistan — Gen. John Nicholson wrote just one thing on his Christmas list which he mailed to his hero, Santa Claus: A stable Afghanistan...
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Flynn hoping to woo FBI with Williams Sonoma holiday gift basket
WASHINGTON — After pleading guilty to lying to the FBI regarding his contact with Russian officials, former National Security Advisor Michael Flynn is hoping the holiday...
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Veterans Affairs turns away veterans of war on Christmas
MARTINSBURG, W.Va. – In yet another case of embarrassing incompetence, a VA center has turned away a group of War on Christmas Veterans seeking basic...
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Airman finally gets pussy for Christmas
VANDENBERG AIR FORCE BASE, Calif. – Airman Alex Johnson finally got the pussy he had always wanted for Christmas this year. “It was so awesome,” Johnson...
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ISIS protests public nativity scene
AL QAYYARAH, Iraq — The self-proclaimed Islamic State has voiced criticism of the nativity scene in front of a local burnt out Grand Immaculate Church, sources...
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Santa’s naughty and nice list hacked in massive data breach
NORTH POLE – The world’s largest database of naughty and nice background investigations was compromised by hackers just days before Christmas, sources close to Santa...
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CO really regrets bringing teenage daughter to battalion Christmas party
CAMP LEJEUNE, N.C. — Lt. Col. Clark Hardwick says he “profoundly regrets” bringing his 18-year-old daughter Cassidy to the battalion Christmas party, sources confirmed today....
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Marines disappointed to find no strippers at North Pole
TROMSO, Norway – Marines training in Norway were disappointed recently when they trekked to the North Pole as part of a cold weather training package...
