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Tag: Department of Veterans Affairs

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PINEDALE, Wyo. — Army veteran Norman Stroker is 100% vocal about his 70% disability rating from the Department of Veterans Affairs, sources confirmed today. “I knew he just paid off his 2016 Ford F-150 Raptor using his 70% VA rating before he even told me his first name,” said Gabriel Tannebaum, an Army veteran who […]
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MARTINSBURG, W.Va. – In yet another case of embarrassing incompetence, a VA center has turned away a group of War on Christmas Veterans seeking basic medical care, local sources report. “They’ve served their country, making great sacrifices to share pictures of the nativity on Facebook or rolling their eyes at Menorahs.” said KellyAnne Morris, a […]
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WASHINGTON — After backlash at Veterans Affairs Secretary Robert McDonald’s comments that the VA should not judge success by wait times because Disney does not, McDonald clarified that the VA will actually attempt to provide the same amount of youthful wonderment as major theme parks. “The VA has always been about putting on a spectacle,” […]
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WASHINGTON, D.C. — With March designated as Brain Injury Awareness Month, the Veterans Administration held a press conference today to announce several health care initiatives aiming to increase awareness of something to do with veterans. “To be perfectly honest, I can’t remember what this press conference was supposed to be about,” said VA Secretary Robert A. […]
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WASHINGTON — Vowing “swift, efficient action” on Syrian refugee admissions, the Obama Administration last month assigned the Department of Veterans Affairs responsibility for vetting the refugees, according to sources. “Really, it’s a perfect fit,” said one White House official. “The VA is already used to dealing with dangerous, unstable people looking for jobs.” Secretary of Veterans Affairs […]
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