Commander screams out first sergeant’s name during sex
HILL AIR FORCE BASE, Utah — Half of the 86th Intelligence Squadron overheard their commander cry out the name of the unit’s first sergeant during...
Intelligence
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Defense Secretary Mattis running out of things in office to throw after latest Trump leaks
THE PENTAGON — Defense Secretary Jim Mattis is reportedly running out of things in his office to throw in anger after the latest crisis of the...
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Intelligence community publishes all classified material online to stop leakers
WASHINGTON — In an unprecedented attempt to prevent the further unauthorized disclosure of classified information, the Director of National Intelligence has released all of the nation’s...
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Trump drops threat to investigate Clinton, forces her into 10-year-long cyber awareness training
WASHINGTON — After more than two years of investigations into the use of a private email server by former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton, President-elect Donald Trump...
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National Security Agency unveils classified dating app: ‘StripR’
FORT MEADE, Md. —The National Security Agency has announced their latest tech innovation, a dating app which runs on classified networks named StripR. Developers explained...
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Army Bans Whistles To Discourage Future Whistleblowers
WASHINGTON — Following a rash of whistleblowing that senior leaders have called “annoying,” “unacceptable,” and even “treasonous,” the Army has announced a stopgap order banning all...
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Pearl Harbor Vet Splashes Low-Flying F/A-18 During Memorial Parade
PEARL HARBOR, Hawaii — A Pearl Harbor veteran racked up his 198th kill when he shot down a friendly F/A-18 Hornet today. Chief Petty Officer...
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Intel Officer Uses All These Big Words
RAMSTEIN AB, Germany – Widespread panic occurred this week at 3rd Air Force Headquarters on Ramstein Air Base, Germany, after an intel officer used all these big words...
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China Announces ‘US Intelligence Officer’ Job Openings
BEIJING — In the wake of the massive data breach that led to millions of security clearance applications to be transmitted to China, Beijing has...
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Corps To Issue Afghanistan Campaign Medal To Garrison Marines
CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. — The Afghanistan Campaign Medal, normally awarded to personnel serving for a period of 30 consecutive days within the borders of Afghanistan, will soon...
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Intel Accuracy Increases 272% After Analysts Begin Reading Entrails
FORT HUACHUCA, Ariz. — Surprising some in the intelligence community, newly-released data show that Army intelligence estimates have become almost 300 percent more accurate after analysts...
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Major Thinks He Can Just Walk Into My Intel Shop Without An Escort
The following is an opinion piece written by Army Sgt. Daniel Monahan. So there I am in the SCIF [Sensitive Compartmented Information Facility], just making...
