Admiral in Japan baffled by 900% spike in drug cases
YOKOSUKA, Japan — The commander of US Naval forces in Japan, Rear Adm. Matthew Carter, is reportedly “disturbed and baffled” by a report that drug incidents among sailors stationed...
Japan
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Obama to apologize to Japan for Pearl Harbor
WASHINGTON – Just days after President Obama directly apologized to Japan for dropping the atomic bombs in World War II, White House sources now say...
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Japanese Emperor Admits Pearl Harbor ‘Kind of a Dick Move’
CHIYODA, Japan — This morning, on the 73rd anniversary of Pearl Harbor, Emperor Akihito admitted in a public comment that the Japanese sneak attack that brought...
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Marine In Japan Regrets Confusing ‘Kabuki’ With ‘Bukakke’
CAMP SMEDLEY D. BUTLER, Okinawa — Lance Corporal Timothy Braithwaite and his wife, Melanie, were dismayed last weekend to discover that they had confused the...
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Iran Condemns Anniversary of ‘Non-Zionist’ Country Getting Nuked
NAGASAKI, Japan – Iran’s top diplomat has spoken out on the 70th anniversary of the atomic bombings of Hiroshima and Nagasaki, condemning the “senseless” use of nuclear weapons against...
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Japanese Sailor Embraces US Culture With Traditional American Tattoos
PEARL HARBOR, Hawaii – Ask any number of the Japanese tourists wandering around for their opinion on America, and you might get a thumbs-up or...
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Sailor Spends Hours In Locker Room Bashing Gays While Completely Naked
YOKOSUKA, JAPAN — Sources confirmed a sailor with Commander Fleet Activities Yokosuka (CFAY) has been spending a majority of his free time in a base...
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Pearl Harbor Veteran Almost Starts WWIII at Japanese-US Training Event
YAKIMA TRAINING CENTER, WA – Tensions are high between the United States and Japan after the closing ceremony of Rising Thunder 13 was ruined by a...
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Pearl Harbor Survivor Accosted By Airport Security
SAN FRANCISCO, CA — Security guards at San Francisco International Airport have come under severe criticism after an elderly Pearl Harbor survivor complained that they...
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Supply Chief Has Complete Conversation With Grunt Without Understanding Single Word
OKINAWA, JAPAN – Supply Company Gunnery Sergeant Dan Williams confirmed today that despite a wide range of accomplishments and experiences in the Corps, he had...
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Marines Begin Crashing Ospreys On Okinawa
OKINAWA, JAPAN – The Marine Corps has begun crashing its MV-22 Ospreys on Okinawa, a top Marine general has confirmed. Lt. Gen. Terry Robling, the commander...
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Dishonorable NCO Forced To Commit Ritual Suicide
FOB GERONIMO, AFGHANISTAN – As the light of the full moon shone over the zen garden in back of the company combat operations center, Captain Jaisun...
