Tag: President Donald Trump

Mattis puts Amazon ‘Doritos Dash Button’ button on Trump’s desk and tells him it’s for launching nukes

On January 6, 2018

WASHINGTON — Defense Secretary Jim Mattis placed an Amazon ‘Dash Button’ on President Donald Trump’s desk that orders a 12-pack of Doritos while telling him it was for launching a nuclear strike on North Korea, sources confirmed today. The move came just days after the president taunted North Korean leader Kim Jong-un on Tuesday, mentioning […]

1st Sergeant defies Trump transgender ban by using gender-neutral pronouns

By Danger Close

On October 2, 2017

CAMP PENDLETON, Calif. — After President Trump’s order to the Pentagon to bar transgender people from military service, one company first sergeant is pushing back, by using gender-neutral pron

Trump and Kim to face off in epic dance battle

By She-Ra

On September 26, 2017

WASHINGTON — The international nuclear feud between President Donald Trump and North Korean Supreme Leader Kim Jong-Un will soon culminate in the last remaining non-military option, with both taking

Coast Guard in Mar-a-Lago performs daring rescue of 100 golf balls

By Slab Squatthrust

On August 7, 2017

MAR-A-LAGO, Fla. — The U.S. Coast Guard successfully saved 100 golf balls in a daring rescue Sunday from the perimeter of Mar-a-Lago, also known as the “Winter White House,” sources confirmed today. A Coast Guard MH-65 helicopter crew and a boat crew based in Miami received a request to assist the commander in chief from […]