Tag: Urinalysis

Army Recognizes Dedicated Soldier As Meat Gazer Of The Year

On May 11, 2015

JOINT BASE MYER-HENDERSON HALL, Va. — Sgt. Maj. of the Army Daniel A. Dailey recognized Sgt. James McBray of 1st Brigade, 10th Mountain Division, as the 2015 Meat Gazer of the Year, the Army announced Monday. “I’ve never seen a soldier get after meat gazing with the personal courage and never-quit attitude that McBray embodies,” Dailey […]

Despite Switching Urine Samples, Soldier Still Tests Positive For Drugs

By Addison Blu

On April 12, 2015

FORT CARSON, Colo. — Spc. Sam DeLoach has been charged with thirty-two counts of illegal possession and use of controlled narcotics, but has asked a military judge to dismiss the charges because

There’s A Piss Test This Morning

By Epic Blunder

On April 22, 2014

YOUR ROOM — Your buddy, Private First Class William Jenkins, is frantically pounding on your door, yelling something about a piss test first thing this morning. “I heard from Spc. Jones who o

Drug Incidents, Morale Skyrockets After Army Halts Urinalysis Due To Government Shutdown

By Dick Scuttlebutt

On October 14, 2013

THE PENTAGON — A Sergeant Major was found unconscious in a Washington brothel Sunday morning, after an all-night marathon session of sex with multiple prostitutes, fueled by large amounts of Viagra and amphetamines. A Three-Star General was arrested after a high-speed chase with Fort Detrick Military Police, who found an underage Filipino boy and over […]