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Category: Veterans

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AUSTIN, Texas — A man who recently left the U.S. Army has gained the inevitable veteran 214 before starting college classes on the G.I. Bill, sources confirmed today. Jason Ennis, 22, received an honorable discharge from the service in January, but he quickly shed his military appearance and gained a couple hundred pounds to better […]
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WASHINGTON — Excitement has erupted among military veterans after President Trump’s latest move to nominate Dinosaur Puppet as the new Secretary of Veterans Affairs, sources confirmed today. Dinosaur Puppet, or Chompy as he prefers to be called, made headlines earlier this month after his participation in an Air National Guard reenlistment ceremony sparked a viral […]
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WASHINGTON — Secretary of Veterans Affairs nominee Rear Adm. Ronny Jackson has vowed to give up drinking sometime next Monday or perhaps Wednesday at the latest, sources confirmed today. “These are very serious allegations, and look, I’ve gotta be honest. I don’t remember most of these incidents,” Jackson told reporters of the 937 allegations of […]
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