WASHINGTON, D.C. — The U.S. Supreme Court, in a shocking decision, declared the U.S. Air Force unconstitutional earlier today.

In a 5-4 decision, the high court mandated a complete redistribution of personnel, equipment, and funds, "in a more constitutionally permissible manner."

The controversial decision is the end result that began at Eglin Air Force Base near Valparaiso, Florida. About seven years ago, Jonathan Smith, a local business owner, filed a civil suit against the Department of Defense. In the suit, Smith claimed that Eglin Air Force Base impermissibly acquired a one mile stretch of his privately owned property by improperly installing a large fence. Among other legal issues, Smith argued that the National Security Act of 1947 had unconstitutionally established the United States Air Force, and therefore, any appropriation of his land was improper despite other legal justifications.

“We were looking for a way around Sovereign Immunity and various other protections that military institutions enjoy. We decided to roll the dice and litigate for knees, as it were,” said Timothy Jones, the attorney representing Smith.