Air Force MQ-9 Reaper Diagnosed With PTSD, Refuses To Fly

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KANDAHAR, AFGHANISTAN – In the latest setback to America's drone war over Pakistan, one of its MQ-9 Reapers was recently diagnosed with a severe case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, or PTSD, sources report.

The MQ-9 Reaper, Callsign "Marvin 79" was due to fly a surveillance mission from Kandahar to Waziristan Province in Pakistan in search of Al Qaeda-affiliated targets, but refused to leave the hangar due to what it described as "severe depression."

When Air Force technicians attempted to reboot its computer, Marvin 79 trained its missiles on the base control tower and threatened to blow it up unless the technicians left the hanger.

Marvin 79 told reporters, "I was booting up my flight systems today when it finally occurred to me that my war will only end when I crash or the Air Force finds a better drone and sells me to Peru."

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