Marine With Brain-Dead Quadruple Amputee Wife Upset Over ‘My Girl’s A Vegetable’ Cadence Paul July 25, 2012 Marine Corps 35 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: File Photo: Marines Running PT CAMP PENDLETON, CA — Troops running and singing cadence is a familiar scene at bases across the world, but one Marine says the cadence really needs to end. Corporal Jason Andreesen is assigned to the famed ‘Dark Horse’ battalion of 3rd Battalion, 5th Marines. “Every morning I have to wake up, put on my silkies and glowbelt and think ‘Well, here we go again’,” says Andreesen. His reluctance for physical training (PT) comes not from exertion, but from the cadences that his squad mates usually choose. One in particular is referred to as the “Vegetable Cadence.” “I mean, I thought it was kind of funny back when I first heard it,” says Andreesen, “but that was before I met Sarah. She’s my dream girl.” Sarah is Andreesen’s wife of three years — who miraculously survived a car crash last year despite losing all her arms and legs and putting her into a coma. As he runs along with his squad, Andreesen wearily waits for it to come up. Sgt. Wilton Chambers leads the cadence, shouting “Left right ley-o…” The Corporal happily repeats it back with the rest of his squad, but then his fears are realized at the Sergeant’s next verse. “My girl’s a vegetable, she lives in a hospital … but I would do anything … to keep that bitch alive, yeah!” Corporal Andreesen says that “the first half isn’t terrible”, but he repeats the rest back amid tears and sweat. “She’s got her own TV and it’s called an EKG!” barks Sergeant Chambers. “I mean seriously. This is fucked up. They all know about Sarah,” says Andreesen. “Yeah, so she has no arms and legs but I mean, I’ve never pulled the plug to watch her choke. I love her.” Other Marines in the squad say that they’ve found the “chink in his armor” and just continue to attack it. “We’re in the infantry. We talk shit. When we find weakness in someone, we do not stop,” says Lance Corporal Miguel Rodriguez. “It’s too much fun.” “I really just wish that we could sing a much better cadence that everyone would love,” says Andreesen after he again repeats that he’d ‘do anything to keep that bitch alive’. “I recommended the ‘cocksucker, motherfucker, eat a bag of shit’ cadence, but the two gay guys in the platoon got all pissy about it.” Others in the squad say that Andreesen is getting “butthurt for no reason.” “I don’t really see the problem,” says Corporal Evan Winters. “I mean, Lance Corporal Troy fucks pumpkins and he seems just fine with it.” After their run returned to San Mateo, the squad continued to bicker about whether pumpkins were vegetables or fruit. Don't miss the next story.Get the latest news and alerts from Duffel Blog delivered to your inbox—free. Short URL: http://duffelblog.com/HEIFt Joseph Johnson says: November 6, 2014 at 12:13 AM I actually had Top pull me aside at Fort Dix and calmly explain to me that I wasn’t allowed to call that cadence anymore, for very similar reasons. Jay Heathman says: August 15, 2014 at 8:58 AM It’s too sick for my taste. Big difference in cadences that mock the troops – ain’t no use in goin’ home, Jodie got yer girl and gone – or that recount the manliness of the recruits – I got a gal in Niagara Falls. etc. – and in a cadence that is based on listing various disabilities. Maybe that is the difference in how things were done in the 60s and early 70s and now. Soldiers and Marines had a different sense of humor, i guess, but somehow still got the job done. James Campbell says: April 16, 2014 at 5:24 PM He thought it was funny until it applied to him. Sounds typical. Dan Crookston says: April 16, 2014 at 3:09 AM They’re a fruit, by the way. Matthew Castriotta says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM HAHAHAHA Michael Nephew says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM lmao, best one I’ve read so far. John Jennings says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM I hadn’t heard the ‘vegetable cadence’ since 1983 at quantico, LMAO…. damn, the comments here are as funny as the article. Jason Meyer says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM Funny Walt Miller says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM One aspect of the Marine Corps is that the hazing and mean practical jokes never stops. It’s a constant. I can just imagine the 3 stars messing each other over all the time. Lucien Bañales says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM Fucking awesome! Iam MyCalm Burningman says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM when I came out of surgery at balboa, I was loopy as f* from the anesthesia and I was slur singin that song at the top of my lungs. “shes a got a tracheotomy, so she can breathe while blowing me”. Hack Stone says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM I was on Camp Pendleton in the mid 90’s, and the spouse of one of our Marines was wheel chair bound. We were forbidden from calling that particular cadence when he was information. I think the only reason that he married her was for the reserved handicapped parking spot. Micah Albrecht says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM next some one will get butt hurt when their little yellow birdie gets killed. Fernando Lastra says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM I am a Marine that served back in the 90’s and I never heard these stupid cadences at Camp Lejuene. Probably just some young assholes playing marine in the sands at penedleton. Fuckin idiots. Matt Houk says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM …. these comments are pissin me off, if this is true then I feel incredibly sry that that happened to him and his wife, those men are being rude and incredibly insensitive. CplMajor MIke says: October 19, 2012 at 12:05 AM As the former Cpl Major of the Marine Corps and a former 0311 I wholeheartedly approve of this story. Nick says: October 11, 2012 at 9:18 PM What is this shit? Is this for real? It’s good to have thick skin but in no part of being a man has to do w/ being a piece of Shit. In other words we all know what a real man is, def not a following sheep but the one who stands up in says…. What the Fuck! Well atleast I know that KARMA is a real thing, so good luck all you pieces of shit out there;) & ps. for lance coconut Miguel burrito, it’s called a line… u have to know where it is drawn, u don’t know how to not go over obviously! yer not a boot or a 1 time pumper by chance are you? For others out there ulike this retard, I hope u understand u can be a real fucking warrior w/ out being a real fucking dumb ass brain washed idiot. Pony says: October 11, 2012 at 5:20 PM One of the Marines in the picture lost a limb in Afghanistan. Just a heads up. Corps Hatin says: October 5, 2012 at 8:07 PM Y’all are soooo fuckin’ full of shiiit. If that’s a fuckin real story, it just proves you need to screw on your lids tighter. It don’t take much to join the Corps, but every 0311’s got more brains than this bullshit. OscarThreeKilo says: September 3, 2012 at 5:20 PM OMG you all make my day, every day. I wish we were family so we had an excuse to get together for a barbecue every summer. I’d even offer to carry Sarah Andreesen to the party. 4 Merit. Masts During Career says: August 22, 2012 at 6:39 PM “We’re in the infantry. We talk shit. When we find weakness in someone, we do not stop,” says Lance Corporal Miguel Rodriguez. “It’s too much fun.” Right on. Old Ass Sarge says: July 25, 2012 at 11:46 PM Put her carcass in a backpack and ruck her ass along…maybe she will dig the cadence. Osama bon Jovi says: July 25, 2012 at 2:28 PM There are enormous insensitivities in this article! Seriously, pumpkins are the fruit of the species Cucurbita pepo or Cucurbita mixta and it can refer to a specific variety of the species Cucurbita maxima or Cucurbita moschata, which are all of the genus Cucurbita and the family Cucurbitaceae. I wish you insensitive pricks could do a little research before you lambast the internet with erroneous statements that pumpkins are vegetables. Paul says: July 25, 2012 at 3:31 PM This comment wins the internet. Major Major Major says: July 25, 2012 at 4:03 PM Pumkins are not vegetables. They are gourds, dammit, GOURDS! RipWaxmaster says: July 25, 2012 at 4:38 PM Gourds. Bananas. It’s all Greek to me. *head implodes* Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: July 25, 2012 at 11:05 PM I feel as though my input is required. In my experience gourds bananas vegetables are all useful when lost. RipWaxmaster says: July 26, 2012 at 8:49 AM You, sir, are a gentleman and scholar. Your words are true, your manner and upright posture even truer. May I imply that gourds, bananas, and vegetables are all impracticably useless when found. A drink to your health my good man. Salut! *sipping YooHoo from a teacup* Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: July 31, 2012 at 10:07 PM Rip…pinky out pinky out! Mac says: July 26, 2012 at 9:40 PM So you’re saying she’s the Hole-y Gourd that bitch was screaming about in “The Life of Brian”? RipWaxmaster says: July 31, 2012 at 10:17 PM Lt. Butero-Trinkejo…Pinky out … Dammit I spilled my YooHoo. What a clusterfuck. Major Major Major says: July 25, 2012 at 11:04 AM LOL. Geting all “Butthurt”. The Loon says: July 25, 2012 at 10:41 AM Brilliant! (( Duffle Blog minions chanting, “We’re not worthy! We’re not worthy!” )) RipWaxmaster says: July 25, 2012 at 8:45 AM Paul – you owe me a new keyboard and a cup of coffee. XD Paul says: July 25, 2012 at 9:18 AM Thank you thank you!