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Pentagon Proposes Controversial Policy Assigning Ranks To Military Spouses

FAYETTEVILLE, N.C. — A new policy is currently being considered by the Department of Defense which would assign rank to spouses of military members.

The controversial measure which was announced yesterday is meant to address disputes and complaints. Problems would be handled between spouses instead of a dependents’ chain of command.

With a system of rank would also come legal doctrine — The Civilian Code of Spousal Justice — to mirror the military’s existing Uniform Code of Military Justice.

The policy discussion comes after a high-profile incident in which a Marine wife was not saluted as she entered her husband’s base, as well as a series of surveys conducted throughout the military to determine major issues plaguing the force. Many commanders described frustrating encounters with military spouses on “an almost daily basis.”

Some of the survey findings were startling, showing commanders finding it increasingly difficult to mediate issues between military spouses. With troop drawdowns and lack of manpower, polls show a force dealing with problems on the homefront even more than military combat.

One survey returned from a Marine platoon commander at Camp Pendleton expressed anger at what he called “dependopotamouses.”

“I can’t handle this anymore. I’m supposed to be a Sniper Platoon Commander, not some lovey dovey, let’s be friends, kumbaya, sit around the camp-fire playing acoustic guitar freak,” said 1st Lt. Nathan Morris. “Shit, no wonder my Scout Snipers are out of control, their spouses drive them insane.”

A company commander with the Army’s 25th Infantry Division told a similar story.

“No shit, there I was, surrounded on all fronts. There had to be at least 25 of em’,'” recalled Capt. Eric Jones. “Hollering their war cries of demands for higher BAH and less field time for their husbands.”

After establishing a focus group of twenty field grade officers, the idea of assigning military spouses’ rank was brought up by Maj. Alex Steen.

“This is a wonderful idea,” Steen said. “Many spouses already seem to act like they wear their sponsors’ rank, so why not just give it to them? This will allow spouses to pull rank when necessary so as to put out of line spouses in their respective place.”

The DoD has proposed ranks be assigned to dependents of sponsors in pay-grades of E-1 through E-9. The spousal rank would also be equivalent to the sponsors’ rank to avoid instances of “pulling rank” on the military sponsor.

Spouse ranks would begin with S-1 (Spouse Recruit) and ascend to S-9 (Chief Master Spouse).

“If only this had been done sooner,” said Ellen Trump, wife of Sgt. Maj. John Trump. “One time I was sitting outside of the PX when this — this Lance Corporal’s wife, tattoo sleeves and all, walks by with her two kids. Doesn’t stop. Doesn’t give the proper greeting of the day. I’ve been married to the Marine Corps for over twenty years! I think she needs to learn who her betters are!”

The new Civilian Code of Spousal Justice will include Articles pertaining to Insubordination, Assaulting or willfully disobeying superior ranked spouses, and Malingering so as to grant authority to the prospective ranks.

The Pentagon has not yet confirmed or denied the possibility of assigning rank to the spouses of officers.

Mike C
3 years 4 months ago

This is a result of the whole entitlement society that we have constructed for ourselves. Good Job people!!

We used to get bitched at by Captain’s wives all the time for pulling them over for expire plates or unbuckled seat belts or whatever. “Do you know who my husband is??”

disgruntled soldier
3 years 4 months ago

self entitled women…. This makes me only that more excited to count down the days till I get the F*** out of this horse and pony show we call the military.

Wayne Macaulay
3 years 4 months ago

This is an old problem. It was going on in the late 1960’s when I was in the Marines. Just before I was discharged at 29 Stumps in 1971, the commanding General’s wife had two young Marines brought up on conduct unbecoming charges, Article 129, for not saluting her at the PX. The Marines, an E2 and a E3, demanded and got a Court Martial were they we’re found not guilty. Of course they were hounded and punished with lots of extra duty from on high. The General, who was a real whack job, was finally relieved of command and… Read more »

Pits and Shagrins
3 years 4 months ago

I would just ask every single person commenting on here about how outrageous this “new” policy is, how horrible or terrible it is to…ready? Reach down between your legs and pull your empty heads out of your arse’s!!!!!! For the love of GOD morons, stop reproducing, stop reading, hell, stop breathing!!!!

3 years 4 months ago

The commanding general of 29 Palms in 1971 was Major General Carl Hoffman. He was not a MOH winner and did not retire after leaving the base. He remained on active duty through 1978. His replacement BG Paul Graham was not a MOH winner and did not retire after leaving the base. He remained on active duty through 1978. I am calling out your BS card on this story.

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