‘Combat Clothing Company’ Reaches Out To Wannabes, Former Varsity Jocks

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Combat Clothing Company

San Diego, CA – A new clothing company which calls itself “Combat Clothing”, based in southern California, has recently come under fire from numerous military veterans organizations. The company, which bills itself as a “streetwear and urban apparel” brand, often adopts military themes in its clothing styles.

Veterans organizations, such as Guardian of Valor, have blasted the company — which has no ties to the military — for attempting to profit off the use of a military-specific word.

“I feel that everyone has been in combat in some form or fashion,” said Billy Wong, the CEO of Combat Clothing. “I may not have been in the military and experienced being shot at, but I have experienced verbal combat in arguments with my girlfriend, and I played Mortal Kombat in an arcade a couple of times.”

“Not to mention I’m a Level 55 Commander in Call of Duty,” he added.



Combat Clothing seeks to unite groups that have been in life or death struggles throughout the globe — such as football players, musicians, artists, and skateboarders. Some of their styles include the phrases, “Shoot Me”, “Combat Hardened”, and “I’ve Been In Combat, Please Pay For My Meal.”

Although they also welcome military veterans to wear their clothing, many detractors have said that’s only a good idea “if they want to look like a douchebag.”

“This oxygen thief is basically profiting off of veterans who have actually been in combat,” said Ralph Anderson, an Army veteran of Afghanistan. “It’s absolutely despicable. Combat is a very specific word that pertains to military service. Period.”

Responding to the criticism, Wong consulted a dictionary to further prove his case.

“The definition of combat in the dictionary says ‘to fight or battle’, like a disease, or ‘combat crime’,” said Wong. “It also mentions military service but it’s pretty obvious that combat can pertain to everyone.”

“Doctors have been in firefights with cells, as they combat diseases. Skateboarders are dealing with improvised explosive rocks that flip them off their boards on the street. It’s a stressful combat scenario, and our clothing reflects that,” Wong said.

With the Supreme Court striking down the Stolen Valor Act, most fans felt it was a perfect time for the company to launch.

Hot on the heels of the popularity of camouflage and other “military-inspired” clothing, other companies are even launching similar styles. Cashing in on a growing trend, apparel companies have released “year-round Halloween costumes” as general fashion for men with weak senses of identity, and no accomplishments of their own to advertise.

Paul

Paul is a former Marine grunt with eight years of experience -- specializing in snapping necks and cashing checks. He enjoys blowing things up, making people laugh, and hardcore gangster rap music.