Chaos: General James Mattis Announced As Next Commandant Of Marine Corps Paul August 14, 2012 Marine Corps 252 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: WASHINGTON, D.C. — In a controversial move sure to send shockwaves throughout the Corps, President Obama announced today that Commandant of the Marine Corps Gen. Jim Amos will soon be replaced by Gen. James Mattis. Amos indicated his plans to resign early — having served only two years out of the four-year term as Commandant — saying that “he’s getting too old for this shit.” “I’m just sick of dealing with these savages in the press and in Congress. They keep asking me questions about snipers pissing on people, nazi flags, and other crap,” said Amos. “I figure Jim [Mattis] will certainly know how to handle them.” Not one to mince words, Gen. Mattis is known for controversial quotes — once telling a reporter that it was “fun to shoot some people,” and that his Marines should always “have a plan to kill everyone they meet.” Mattis, who announced his plans for retirement months ago, is being recalled for the position as top commander at a time when the Marine Corps transitions from combat to peace. “This transition stuff is all a bunch of crap,” said Mattis, after returning from a 30 mile ruck run with an 80-pound pack. “Our Corps will always be killing people. Even in peace time, I’ll find someone for our boys to kill out there. Yeah, I’m talking to you Iran.” When reached for further comment on his promotion, Mattis was glad that he would be staying in uniform. “When I announced my retirement, it was at a time when death by PowerPoint was my entire day. I thought I had missed my chance for Commandant,” said Mattis, after spitting out his Red Man chew and downing a double-shot of Jack Daniels. “But now that I am receiving this promotion, it means most of my job is to visit our boys overseas — Afghanistan, Djibouti, Libya — and I can get closer to the action again.” Mattis is excited that he can leave the briefing room to get back to “systematically tracking and killing the nation’s enemies with his bare hands,” but he also has other plans for sweeping changes across the Marine Corps. “This policy that doesn’t allow sleeve tattoos is a bunch of horseshit,” said Mattis, as he showed off his own full-sleeve tattoos running down both arms. “So that’s the first thing to go.” Another policy change includes tweaks to physical training. While most infantry Marines can probably keep up with the General on runs, Mattis says that he wants everyone to live up to the ethos of “Every Marine a Rifleman.” “These air wingers and admin folks think they are sitting pretty, only heading to the gym or not doing PT at all,” said Mattis, in between his third round of 350lb back squats. “So I’ll also be leading them in 15 mile runs until they shape up.” Finally, Mattis says he’ll reverse the no-hazing policy that Marines have been under since the nineties, saying that it’s “good goddamn training.” “Listen, I don’t like stupid shit,” said Mattis. “but if you’re one of my fine young men about to go on deployment and you have a boot who isn’t listening, I think it’s a valuable training tool to duct tape him to a bench, mentor on an emotional level with a wall-to-wall counseling session, or make him dig a hole to China.” “I mean hell, that’s where we’re going [China] eventually anyway. Might as well train like we fight,” he added. Mattis is expected to take command at the beginning of the new fiscal year. Don't miss the next story.Get the latest news and alerts from Duffel Blog delivered to your inbox—free. Short URL: http://duffelblog.com/IK6Bh Allen L. Walker says: October 21, 2014 at 7:59 AM About time we get someone back in control that isn’t a yes man! Looks like my beloved Corps is gonna get back on track. Airwingers not PTing? We PT’d when I was in the airwing need to be combat ready at all times. Dave Reid says: October 21, 2014 at 7:59 AM If only…. Gary Bolles says: October 21, 2014 at 7:59 AM Too Bad he is not the new Commander in Chief Lawrence Sanders Sr. says: October 21, 2014 at 7:59 AM Mad Dog Mattis for President?? Now THAT would be interesting. Lawrence Sanders Sr. says: October 21, 2014 at 7:59 AM Chesty Puller is smiling right about now! USMC Retired, 1966-1989 Lenn Mattson says: October 21, 2014 at 7:59 AM There’s gonna be some sorry asses when the new Commandant get in, if he does what he says. Ooorah! Lenn Mattson says: October 20, 2014 at 7:15 PM There’s gonna be some sorry asses when the new Commandant get in, if he does what he says. Ooorah! Robert Oglesby says: October 20, 2014 at 7:15 PM That’s some good shit! Kill ‘em all who want to kill us! General Mattis: No Nonsense kinda General! Would’ve loved to have served under him!! Clay Meredith says: October 20, 2014 at 7:15 PM I call Bullshit!! Not even president Obama would appoint this guy, (meaning the way they portray him in the article) although he would be great for the Corp…there is a lot of boots out there shitting them-self right now. Semper FI Terry Moon says: September 4, 2014 at 1:44 PM Thank God I am a Marine….both of these guys make me proud. Rick Lamm says: August 27, 2014 at 2:14 AM if only Joseph Felder says: July 30, 2014 at 5:28 PM Oh, if only, hahahaha. Darren Gray says: July 30, 2014 at 5:28 PM Dang, If this were true…I would come out of retirement…right after I got out of the tattoo parlor with my full sleeves …lol Ken Barnes says: May 27, 2014 at 4:28 PM I re up now love this man! Luis Ruiz says: April 16, 2014 at 3:09 AM I wish this was real. I wouldn’t hesitate to come back. Kevin Clark says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM I like this Guy! I want HIM for President! Walter Phares says: February 26, 2014 at 12:54 AM Old Corps Get some ooh rah Scott Richard Gillespie says: January 16, 2014 at 4:54 PM I think deep down inside every current Marine or Past Marine wanted this. Coretta Alexandria Stevens says: January 16, 2014 at 4:54 PM I adore this, hilarious. Jason Taylor says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Mad Dog General James Mattis to be the Corps new Commandant. It’s about goddamn time! Chesty Puller has a hard on right now and so do I! Tats down to your knuckles, Every Marine PTing like they were back on the Island, emotional mentoring and hands on wall to wall motivating for shit birds who will get you killed! Takes me back to the good ‘ol days I remember. It’s a fine time for the future of the Marine Corps; SEMPER FI! Ryan Josephs says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Wouldn’t that be great! Mark Barnett says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Gen. Mattis is right no matter why you joind the Corps you are now apart of the Worlds Finest. That means that you do what the FUCK you are told and dont ask any questions or you pay the price. So suck it up and be a Marine. Ben Rollins says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM I wish!! Bishop Dubois High School says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Aye, Aye; Sir !!! Justin Case says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Holy Shit; I’m Outa Here !!! Marine Attack Squadron ( VMA ) 225 ; West Pac and Viet Nam 1964-1965 says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Hey, Don’t Mess With The Airdales !!! Robert Robby Humphries says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Patton reincarnated. Mike Marrero says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM You sir are an emo fag and and need to keep your hippy ass as far away from my Corps as humanly possible. Wolf Hunter says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM GEN. MATTIS IS A REAL DEVIL DOG. TO BAD HE HAS TO WORK FOR A SOCIALIST LAP DOG Ken Bodah says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM that’s one Marine that every Marine respects. Shit at 54yrs old, I`ll go back in and serve under him! Robert Robby Humphries says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Bring on the tats. We’ve gone to far with this political correctness buckshot and profiling. Dustin Ropp says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM ooh….rah Colin Rockwell says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM I freaking wish Magdalena Maria Jabłońska says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Ooooh-rah! Get some!!! William S. Darnstaedt says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM You think they would let a not so young Marine back in. Would lo e to serve under this guy. Mad Dog for president. Benjamin Maule says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Wouldn’t it be nice… Brian Keith Price says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM Please unfuck these new Marines and the leaders that are supposed to do this without you. You should not have to come but to unfuck these new Marines. Welcome back from the old Marines. Please make them teach the way things used to be and should be now. Tattoo’s and please unscrew Okianwa! Stop punishing the locals for what the military did. Anthony Sahioun says: January 3, 2014 at 2:54 AM I’m not even a marine……and I truly love this guy. Reminds me of Schwartzkoff & R. Lee Ermy combined Ong Alice says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM The great military strategist. Britt A-nar says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Rah William Guido says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Nice. Coreene N Larry Nunn says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM We can only dream. Stephen J. McComas says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM If only this were true. Jose Zertuche says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM SEMPER FIDELIS Gary Fuller says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Shit he need 2 let us roll our sleeves 2 Chavez Nelson says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM lets cross our fingers…. Heather Shelton Marsh says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Personally, I like his full sleeves. Nanyt Hguanavak says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM For about half a second, I thought this was real. FUUUUUUUUUU- Pete Goad says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM OOOHHHHRRRAAAHHHHH! Doug Willey says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM SEMPER FI! GEN MATTIS Gordon Dilmore says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM A REAL LEADER! Flash Wells says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM nice Senior Pena says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM I have over five people on my news feed that actually think this is a true story. Sim Taylor says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Wish it was TRUE…………..He could do for The Corps what Patton did for the Army. Chuck Gilkes says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Sounds like he want’s to go back to the “Old Corps” At least the Corps I knew for 20 years. Marty Hall says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM OOOOO-FRIGGING-RAH! GO GET’EM, MARINE! Dam shame this isn’t true. Drew Steltz says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM http://duffelblog.wpengine.com/about/ you all have been fooled. Ike Oshana says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM It would be great for the Corps if General Mattis did come back and take over. Carlos Cano says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Give me my papers to sign I will follow this man to hell and back and laugh about it 23 yrs. 10 yrs retired and waiting for my comback. Jose Zertuche says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Shades of the “Ol Corp”. Sign me up! “The Expendables” are old Marine Farts ready for any action! Christopher R Mayen says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM I remember the good old corps when I first hit the fleet , then it started to become bullshit and pussified. now the old corps is going to be resurrected by Gen Mattis. I might just have come back in! David Anthony Pape says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM What the fuck? is this true or not I’m not understanding why people are asking that. Is this a fucking bullshit website? I’m lost in the sauce somebody help a devil out. I’ve already told like three fucking people.. David Brockett says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM My son scored a 98 on his entrance exam and a 96% on his PFT but was turned down for OCS because of some tattoos above his elbow..his OSO was almost in tears but his Mom was happy. sf 68-74 Sierra Hasd says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM FUCK YOU whoever wrote this! You got me hard and left me hanging! You can’t tell us this and it be false! I hate you and I hope your breaks go out on the expressway for this! Tiffany Elliott says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM damnit! I so wish this was happening! Keith John says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM This shit is hilarious! I wish! hahaha Paul E Guiteau says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM F#@K! I thought this was the real deal for awhile there. Jamaal Turner says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Fuck yeah, we getting some. Warner Mobley says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM what is Mattis solution to the “friendly” back shooters in Afghanistan? Bobby Edrich says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Wishing I wasnt medically retired, this type of talk brings back the memories of having a very motivated kick ass gsgt! Harold Edward Coley Jr. says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM We always need a Strong Marine Corps, if a few more congresmen would do something for there country maybe the government would not be such a kiss a@@, how many have truely served in the Military,? Lou Irmisch says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM If this was true I’d fight to get back in as a combat medic. Dude is fucking a crazy SOB and that’s the type of commandant we need. Russell Johnson says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM So should former Marines still have a 5 paragraph order handy for killing if required? The sleeves tatoos on the general is a nice touch… Winfieldscott Obaker says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM If only this were true, our Marine Corps would be able to complete there mission without some dumbass politician and their agenda! John Wilson says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Fake but funny and motivating as hell! Jeffrey G Wingerter says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM just joined duffle blog, satire by a marine vet and others. some good shit. Check it out vets. Charles Forsythe says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Sounds kindof like the good ol days WW2 when I was a grunt under “howlin mad”smith! Andy Wolf says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Mattis = God. Paul Kelly says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM I love this guy! One more reason to make me sad I went Doggie, back in ’62! John Sandoval says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Accept it chicken hawks and others. The cold hard facts are that we are in the business of killing the enemy. We are not social workers and we never will be. Find the enemy, close with him and kill the MF. All within the rules of combat. Don’t make it difficult for the troops. We know what to do and that’s why we have a chain of command. If our politicians and others would walk in our boots they would MAYBE understand. It is the job of our military leaders to get that point across to his boss, which I am sure that General Mattis has done so already. The General is not a “mad dog” and neither are the troops. We are highley motivated killing machines and the bottom line is General Mattis is going to lead us in the right direction. Semper Fidelis Blackcoat Capt USMC Retired. War is some serious shit. Nick Harris says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM I wish. I’d go right back in. Peter G Oberacker says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM If only…… Christopher Schiff says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Winning William A. Gork II says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Fake and fucking fake shit, Shitblog!! Christina Francisco says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM I hope this is true! Can’t wait to enlist. Jerry Beingesser says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Paul, you just keep getting better. I can just see the General lobbing grenades in Afghanistan. Eben Osgood says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM FUCK YEAH! I only hope that this is legit! Warner Mobley says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM put all the BAMs in the front line on point and that will solve all the controversy because they will all be dead. Ray Leahey says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM This is not true. Don Scoby says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Sure wish this story was true, now watch CNN an MSNBC pick it up and shit a brick. Bill Edgington says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM yes sir my kind of marine. Russell Henzman says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM General Mattis Has my vote for President.. we need someone in office that has a set of balls, and doesn’t care what the press or others think. Chris Rogers says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM It’s real alright. No way in hell they would announce such a thing without any kinda evidence or proof. I’m glad that we’ve finally got a ballsy commandant, but he will probably be the death of the Navy funded Marine Corps. Today’s politics are too intense for him to haze lil Johnny at boot camp. Not to mention the Corps can’t afford to loose too many more Marines, once he takes his first Air Wing unit on a 15 mile run and the whole unit fails, there goes our numbers.. I won’t be surprised if the Marines get stuck into the Air Force or Army. Hopefully I’m wrong because I love the Marine Corps tradition and everything it means to piss someone off just by being a jarhead! David Bomberger says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM general hightower. excellent! Reggie Massey says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Is this General Gray coming back. And most of all, I do not believe that the socialist in chief is aving the baals to bring someone in with bigger BALLS! Clay Barber says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM I hate idiots who have nothing better to do than make up the news… Don Coan says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM oorah love it. Richard Reyes says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Let the Mad Dog loose, f the idiots in Washington. Andrew Montgomery says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM This shit is great Bob Luebbert says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM I can not believe it —BUT I am glad he was selected – The Corp needs to go bak to the old standards. “Semper Fi” John Harris says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Wish I wasn’t 68 and over the hill. I genuinely admire General Mattis. Chris Polome says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM This isnt real dont fuck with me like that I woulda gone back in Arturo Hernandez says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Get some! Sir! John McCormack says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Congratulations General, I have asked two Marines in uniform “what is your primary” they both gave me some unknown mos. This caused an alarm in me. I had the good fortune to serve with the largest mounhted experienced expert of war in u. s. history. I earned and recieved a meritoriuos mast from h&SBn, 3rdForceServRegt. 1973. from never lest. John McCormack. Mike Sawyer says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM the general will also banish glowbelts and immediately cancel any talk of allowing women in the infantry. ” we’re not going to be wasting money on stupid shit anymore ” said soon to commandant mattis. Paul Crehan says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM I will follow that man to hell and back..Semper Fi Chris Silencio Cooley says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Rah! Daniel Scott says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Shit, I was ready to re-up. With a nick name like Mad Dog you know shit would go down! Anonymous says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM God Damn. Wish the hell this was true. Reading those quotes gave me a chumpy. God Bless the Marine Corp. Dale Thomas Airoldi says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM ‘Merica! Travis Dove says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM if this was true id re enlist in a heartbeat but ik the government is commited to making us a buncha pussys. Tim South says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM He needs to become SecDef after retirement from the Marines. Jenny Fennell says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Finally, someone with some balls. Bryan J Loonsfoot says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM this is the greatest article ever / if this man was promoted to commandant as soon as he picked up four stars I bet we’d be out of afghanistan by now / guy just gets it. Craig Taylor says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM General Mattis is a fucking God! I hope he goes for President of U.S. after kicking ass as the Commandant of our beloved Corps!!!!! Shannon Weber Evans says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Eff yes Michael Cruz says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM yesssssssss yesssssssssssss fuck yessssssssssssssss. Brian Duben says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Motto as shit. Ashley Cross says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Mason when does a Marine say hoorah Davis Bunting says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Why can’t this be true? Jim Burlew says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM If this was real, why didn’t it happen a looong time ago? Dave Campbell says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM My old boss Skip Stafford says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM SEMPER FI’ Don Mataya says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Nobody wants to mess with the guys house who has the big mean dog out front. I think it’s time we get our big mean bulldog back. Robert Mendoza says: December 15, 2013 at 6:22 PM Damn I wish this was true! One can only hope for the future of our beloved Corps! Corey TheDiesel McNulty says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM AWWWWWW YEAAA! Travis Whipple says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM too bad it’s fake… but if it was real I would re-up for sure. Kenneth Duane says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Oh Hell that sum bitch is going to give me a chance for ole school sink or or swim sum bitch. Kenneth Duane says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM I catch those damm Tattoos in Camera View Again and Hell Will be too pay….. AS NO PAY Owner Of The USMC, Unted NATIONS, NATO, and INTERPOL as In C.O.L KenGODSUN Moon that I Am. Bo Bourne says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM If only this were true! Take away my pension and put me back in the grunts as a platoon sergeant! We seriously need someone like this, unafraid of political rhetoric and job jocussed – kill out nation’s enemies. Afterall, no matter what the recruiter said, as a Marine, we were designed for one thing and one thing only, make that other damn bastard die for his country. Jesus P. Hernandez says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM HAHAHA! How cool would this be? Richard Higinbotham says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Sign me up, I’ll re-enlist as a Lcpl. for free to follow him. I am 57 year old. Brian J. Mitchell says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Awesome! I wish it was true. lol Roy Hamilton says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Semper Fi, Sir. Shurland Ayers says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM if only this was real… The corps would be a better place… James Rice says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM if it was real I would kill to get back. then they wouldn’t care about my ink but my ability to serve. Donnie Dubbs says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM man that would be a blast, Daniel I think re-uping if Mad dog became Commandant goes for every retired marine… Tom Kalbacher says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM He would have been the best Commandant since General Gray. Lupe Guerrero says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM I like what he says. Jorge Valladares says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Funny Gene Bone says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM This was how the Corps was in the ’50’s! Old Corps is Hard Corps! It is time to end the Pussyfication of America! Semper Fi! Frank Schober says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Go General! Austin Langley says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM He should go for president. Then we would at least win war with destruction not this hearts and minds BS. Jose Garcia says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM It should have been that one in the first place, why have a POG in charge when u have someone better like Genenal Mattis. Dat Tran says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM This made me laugh. So hard. Sam Galindo says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Back to basics! Hell yea! Make Chesty happy! Raul Alcala says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM I would follow that man if he said let’s invaded Korea with a spoon Dan Hakala says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM I used to ride along in his convoy during OIF-2. Mason 'mrSmoothhimself' says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Dammit I might get back in the Corp after reading this article, got my blood going..GOOD SHIT HORAHHH! Donald Sofia says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM LOVE THIS GUY, IF I WASN’T SO FREAKING OLD, I’D RE-UP. OWW-RAH, SEMPER-FI MARINES. Dan Hopkins says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Wow. This should be fun to see him get Washington into shape. Chad Dover says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Fuck Yeah Bob Lassiter says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Oh yeah baby now we go! Ampy Deris says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM The Lord reigns and H e will reings forevermore. God bless US marines corps. Dan McKenzie says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Mattis for President/2016. Frank Reynolds says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM I retired in the early 90’s over chicken shit officers and bullshit about troop harassment. If the new commandant is true to his word I would go back as a PFC just to work my way back up to Gunny under a Commandant who has balls. Cecilia Stecz Evans says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM For once I was hoping you guys were running a real article! Roberta Precious-Robocop Martin says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Ugh…. you have the nerve to disrespect and represent General Mattis like that you should have your balls shoved down your throat you worthless sack of mud….. and please come see me when you want that done I’ll lop them off and slap you with them……….. This post…. Fucking retarded. Don’t ever portray General Mattis as anything but the ass kicking warrior that he is. I thought this was fake when I saw the tattoos but realized that this website is full of shit and you just lost me as a follower….. General Mattis is the best damn Marine General since Chesty Puller, and I assure you I am going to let the Veterans have your ass by sending them here to this post…. You should apologize you filthy rotten shit. Michael Hasbun says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM It’s not fair to satirize this… Gen Mattis becoming commandant would ensure the US remains a superpower for several more decades =o) It breaks my heart that he ISN’T commandant… Nick Lindquist says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Damn you D.B. for getting my hopes up. Jim Hanson says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM I miss the old days when I was in. Political correctness ran amok I retired due having to explain to a Master Gunnery Sergeant why I did not want to put a shit bird up for promotion. I remember General Gray as the Commandant. A lot of admitn pogues feared getting off thier ass and having to be a real Marine instead of a P.X. Hero. Active Duty Marines I am jealous of you. Semper Fi. Gysgt Hanson USMC (Ret). Daniel Barton says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM If this shit was real….I would come back in a heartbeat. Carl Cabral says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Dick heads James Elie Lbqj says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Too motto for me! Daniel Hubbard says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Holy shit I wish… Bryant Kinnaird says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM dont tease me with a good time. Josh Dwaileebe says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Why does he only have 6 ribbons? Justin Olbu says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM I know its fake… but i cant help but hope, dream, and smile reading through it…. Maybe Mattis could run for president. Will Raita says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM He’ll yea, finally JarHead Brown says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM Out Fucking Standing! even at my age I would be proud to come back and fight under his command. Peter Kirk says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM my dad would have had flashbacks of GEN. PATTON! Scott Kujawa says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM sounds like a good idea to me……..two words, GAME ON. Frank Phillips says: December 15, 2013 at 6:21 PM You should rename TDB too NMMLA. National Marine Mattis Love Association. fake ray ban sunglasses says: May 18, 2014 at 11:55 PM The Nippon gentleman associated with Japanese drop, Hata whiles apart an individual’s golden age found in muted solitude, until several compact occurrences your shuttering connected with his own previous industry. fake ray ban sunglasses http://www.grainnemorton.co.uk/specials.htm ray bans wayfarer says: May 18, 2014 at 11:54 PM A real Japanese guy of Mandarin chinese ancestry, Hata whiles apart their old age within hushed comfort, just up until a series of modest occurrences all the shuttering involving the earlier internet business. ray bans wayfarer http://www.hakikazi.org/raybanwayfarer.html John McCormack says: November 16, 2012 at 3:35 PM Congratulations General, I have stopped and asked two marines in uniform what their primary is, they both told me some unknown mos. I asked for their frist general order, they both did not know it. This raised an alarm in me. I had the honor to serve with the largest mounted exerienced experts of war, fmfpac3rdforceserv.regt.truckco. okinawa camp foster. I received a meritorious mast launching the clean hands accounting of the Nez Perc tribe of Indians. completing the imperfect incomplete treaties of the Nez Perces 1863-1868 with the 1858 military concession treaty. Look forward to hear of your needed successful command. Never left John McCormack Janice Strickland says: November 3, 2012 at 1:00 AM Well , for even more fun , check out the dating website Zoosk . You’ll find ‘him’ there . How do I know ? The jerk off impersonating him has been trying to hit on me ! Please , please , someone who is more computer savvy than I am , go have fun with this douchebag on Zoosk . The General in Utah is funnier than…heck , can’t think of anything funnier personally . I do not stand behind our Armed Forces , I proudly stand beside them . Thank you Ladies and Gentleman of the Armed Services . DD Johnston says: October 30, 2012 at 4:19 AM Hello Lady’s I thought all the Old Marines ( with me being the exception) were Dead And Gone to the big PX . Glad to see some Scum Bags Still breathing. And talking shit. Any way to get the point I Don’t Pay much attention to shit that is on the internet concerning Marines ! I made the mistake of watching a you tube video the Title was something about greatest warriors that ever walked the Earth so I figured What the Hell They’ve Made a Video of The 3rd Bn. 26th Marines and All the ass kickin We gave to Luke the gook in RVN but instead this video is some “Sick Commie Cock Sucker’s , Chicken Shit Idea of a Ambush” (That’s the New Title I Fuckin gave That Piece of shit Video) But Their Ambush worked like a charm. I turn this thing on and what the FUCK they got the Royal Marines as the All time Ass Kickers of the World Talk about a (bouncing Betty) Any way That’s the Reason for my Recon on This Gen. Mattis Story I Didn’t want to be the Fuck Stick walking in to another Ambush OK that’s the Sit Rep For now Lady’s I’ll Be Watching Cpl. D.D. Johnston 3/26 BLT 9th MAB 1969-70 ( I Corps S Vietnam ) Paul says: October 24, 2012 at 6:20 PM When I read about the Marine Corps,it makes my skin get goose bumps.I was,and still am a Navy man at heart,but have and always will love the Marine Corps.I have been told ,on many ocassion,that the Navy does nothing but take the Marines where they have to go…..to war.Thats because we haul nothing but the very best……..The UNITED STATES MARINE CORPS……….SEMPER FI,and God bless. G.L.H. says: October 9, 2012 at 9:46 PM Oorah General. 6/68 to 7/69 Vietnam 3/27,3/5,Cap Marine………..S/F Nam Marine says: September 23, 2012 at 12:11 PM If you want Political Correctness try the other Branches of Service. All my beloved Marine Corps does is to Help the enemy die for his Country! SEMPER FI ! 3rd Marine Division 1968 Tet Offensive ( still lost somewhere on the DMZ ) Dry Gulch Dick says: September 21, 2012 at 6:31 PM even as a simple Coastie – I would follow him to Hell and back Kate Gosselin's uterus says: September 12, 2012 at 4:50 PM Wow, I haven’t read so much Marine Corps lingo in ages, Some of you should rally get our your moonbeams and look for a porthole out of whatever buttfuckery is holding you form moving on. CPT 2003 says: September 13, 2012 at 7:50 AM “the change is forever . . .” CPT 2003 says: September 13, 2012 at 7:57 AM Wow – nautical terms? How about this (let me dust it off as I have not had to say it in over – hmmm – 23 years) “prepare to mount aye aye Sir! Sir, are all the private’s rifles, footlockers, seabags, and money-valuable bags all secure Sir? Sir, are all the private’s rifles on safe Sir? Sir, are all the private’s sheets pulled back to the foot of the rack Sir?” etc. Wow – that was a walk down amnesia lane . . . Joshua D. Johnson says: September 7, 2012 at 9:06 PM The article is FAKE, the picture is from another one and he has no tattoos. He is set to retire from CENTCOM soon. I wish this was true he would make a hell of a CMC but the new marine corps I think is too soft for a man like him. If he was going to be the new CMC I would stay in the Marine Corps and continue to train war dogs but its time for me to leave, I know there is alot of other Marines that feel the way that I do as well. Nam Marine says: September 23, 2012 at 12:13 PM I’m sorry this story was not real. This is what the Corps needs now ! VERN says: September 5, 2012 at 12:22 PM GOOD FOR YOU GEN. Pete says: August 30, 2012 at 9:18 PM 30 mile run with an 80 lb pack…….if anyone believed that an old leatherneck like that could do half that PT then..WOW…stay tuned for more factual information because they left out the part where he shoots lighting out of his dick and kills Satan. Fuck this article for disrespecting Commandant Amos. Marines don’t quit anything and to imply that the Commandant would quit on the Corps is just outrageous bullshit. Article cold have been funny if it didnt paint such a shitty picture of the Marines. Marine Corps is in a deteriorating state currently and has become way easy to advance as is full of shitbirds from the surge. I made Sergeant in 3 years by basically getting out of bed in the morning and making it to formation on time and fraternizing with every . Thats why I re-enlisted in the most important war fighting branch we have. The United States Air Force. Pete USMC 2006-2011 USAF 2011-Forever 32 nd Guards MRR OPFOR D-36 says: September 3, 2012 at 12:14 AM umm Pete.. I just an old Army dog.. so work with me. If Marines don’t quit, why are you now in the Air Force? As for disrespect, you shit all over the Marine Corp. I’d say Airperson Pete is where he belongs. Integrating gays into the Army and Marines.. problem… The Airforce ? I bet they didn’t have to do anything. CPT 2003 says: September 5, 2012 at 9:10 AM Pete – generally speaking, it is a ‘party foul’ to leave the Corps as an enlisted Marine and then enter another service branch without the President’s Commission – so – if you are telling us that you are now a zoomie officer, that’s cool (as even my own daughter chose AFROTC over Army ROTC), but if you have just shifted gears, than lad, I am afriad you not only shifted down, but you gave up a far superior uniform as well. . . SEMPER FIDELIS! Marjorie Camp says: August 29, 2012 at 3:32 AM The Corps is in the capable and military genious hands of a real Marine, through and through, and I couldn’t be happier or feel safer! I can hardly wait to witness your favor in continuing to enrich and enhance Marine Corps history. With Best Wishes to you and to the Corp for continued success, Marjorie Retired Marine So Stay in Your Pay Grade says: August 27, 2012 at 4:23 PM How fucking dumb are you guys? That image isn’t even Mattis. Not unless he got full sleeve tattoos in the last 72 hours. This entire website is pure bullshit put together by disgruntled fucks who like to stir up shit. The military’s most trusted news source? Who the fuck said that besides themselves? Jerry says: August 27, 2012 at 4:34 PM I don’t think a moment of silence for this man’s wisdom is out of the question. leftoftheboom says: August 27, 2012 at 4:57 PM Dear Lord in Heaven, Please look down upon your humble servant and if at all possible… hit him with a lightning bolt for being stupid. Paul says: August 27, 2012 at 6:52 PM I would just like to take issue with you calling us fucks. That isn’t very nice. Warlord says: August 26, 2012 at 12:26 PM If you fucking numbnuts had dynamite for brain cells, the lot of you couldn’t put them together to blow your goddamn nose. Gen. Mattis IS NOT becoming the next Commadant of the Corps. Gen. Amos is not retiring early. This is a work of pure fiction.CENTCOM is the last command Gen. Mattis will hold as is tradition. Everything you read on the Internet is NOT the fucking truth retards. MGYSGT/USMC beaker55 says: August 24, 2012 at 8:53 PM Dang! I’m 61 years old and would volunteer in a New York minute to serve under this General! HooRah! ichi-go-ni says: August 24, 2012 at 12:31 PM OUTFRIGGINSTANDING! Us old shit-bird airwingers wish we didn’t have to spend all of our free time ditty-boppin’ up and down BC Street on The Rock…79-81. Kevin McQuade says: September 3, 2012 at 1:23 PM Sum one been to OKY NAHA HUH? 1st time 70 4 me, changed much? BDFB Darrell says: August 23, 2012 at 2:43 PM I have trouble with this story as Mattis does not have the tat’s in the photo (I have met him and know from personal observation) and I can not independently verify the truth of the contents. How about some verifiction? Semper Fi, Darrell MParent says: August 23, 2012 at 12:12 PM It is absolutely true, My Marine was briefed today, he will be in command. Mike says: August 23, 2012 at 8:37 AM You numbnuts need to do a little more research, according to new reports and other sources, Gen. Mattie is on his way to be Top Devil Dog!!! It’s a wait and see right now and if/when It happens, Semper Fi!! A new face for the Corps, New Attitude, and the world better hold on to it ass, cause he’s gonna kick a little but of it. J.A.Perkins says: August 22, 2012 at 4:29 AM Sic em General. JAP John A Siva says: August 22, 2012 at 1:44 AM DAMN! I must be getting old, I was ‘in country’ when the GEN. was commissioned!. I’m 60yrs+ and feel and look 40. Hit the gym 5 days a week and can still kick some serious ass,(tested recently) and people know it. I’d like to think I could keep-up with today’s Marines and possibly serve again, and save fellow grunts. But I know my ass would end up in Portsmouth with the current ‘Rules of Engagement’ even at the cost of another brother’s life. John A Siva says: August 22, 2012 at 12:40 AM I can’t believe our present penciled-neck geek, commander in cheat, would confirm such an outspoken, politically incorrect, warrior to command my Corps.(or as he refers to us as: “corpse”?!?) Paul says: August 21, 2012 at 1:58 PM http://www.marinecorpstimes.com/xml/news/2008/06/ap_hadithah_mattis_060208/060208_mattis_800.JPG Photoshop anyone? Redwood says: August 21, 2012 at 11:12 PM Who’s the fuckwad civilian in the photo? He looks like a nut-kick practice dummy for General Mattis. Oh, please, one of you photoshoppers out there please airbrush out Captain Asskiss. We don’t need any more of them. I think the rank of Captain should be limited to field Marines ONLY. SSgt USMC Vietnam – The Walkiing Dead Juice says: August 21, 2012 at 1:58 PM If This is true! I’m coming back to the corps! Charlie Runsvold says: August 21, 2012 at 12:12 PM Please tell me that this is true!! GMan says: August 20, 2012 at 8:27 PM Ohh my gosh! I’m having flash-backs of my former CMC Al Grey again…..thank God for warriors like General Mattis. MadMarine says: August 18, 2012 at 10:01 PM Gen Chesty Puller would be proud…long live the Corps! Redwood says: August 21, 2012 at 11:08 PM Chesty wants to grab a handful of shit to throw at Obummers Queers. Keep ‘em out of our Corps. Angela says: August 17, 2012 at 2:11 PM I got so many Marines with this article…needless to say they’re all full of hate, discontent and blue balls from the temporary hard on they got thinking Mattis would ever be allowed to take his rightful position in the Corps. Wzrd1 says: August 16, 2012 at 7:07 PM In other news, the US Army ordered Powerpoint uninstalled on all computers after the suicide rate spiked to its highest one month tally. It seems that the vast majority of suicides occurred during Command and Staff meetings, with several mass suicides during the briefings of several commands, leaving briefing rooms filled with suicide victims. It was revealed that it took 90 days before anyone noticed the mass suicides, as none of the briefing information is ever read at the higher echelon anyway and the subordinate commands didn’t notice the loss of nebulous leadership. Captain Obvious says: August 17, 2012 at 2:49 PM Now this is something I think I need a full article on…as a CGO, I want to fully understand the risks that my PowerPoint Rangers are taking on a daily basis. SammyGurlWest says: August 16, 2012 at 4:00 PM Love the new tats General Mattis! MSgt Ret Bob says: August 27, 2012 at 8:45 AM I almost fell for this article as well. The tats got me. Photo shop. Oh well. Anyway I hope he does well, sorry that Gen Amos is leaving early. Maybe its the current POTUS influence. Gen. Mattis in a way reminds of Al Grey and that could shake things up again in the suck. Lcpl Garrison says: August 16, 2012 at 7:33 AM God if only it were true…….. Caleb says: August 15, 2012 at 11:58 PM If you numnutses go around spreading this, you are retarded. It is obviously a joke. Matt says: August 17, 2012 at 12:26 PM Really! Its a joke. WOW Redwood says: August 21, 2012 at 11:02 PM No shit Dick Tracy. Perhaps you deserve a goddamn medal for using your gourd for more than something to hold your cover. If you can laugh at a bullshit story then you are truly one fucked up soul SSgt. USMC Vietnam – 1/9 The Walking Dead Redwood says: August 21, 2012 at 11:04 PM I meant to say “if you CAN’T laugh at a bullshit story you are truly fucked up.” usmc native says: August 23, 2012 at 7:17 PM oorah there ssgt!! Kevin McQuade says: September 3, 2012 at 1:16 PM FORTY ROG SSGT. RLMFAO it amazes me how dumbed down I really ain’t! And for awhile there I almost believed da VA when they said I was a danger to myself and society and both of us should be PROTECTED FROM ME! Wat a relief ! BDFB out LCpl Hilton says: August 15, 2012 at 8:16 PM Hes gonna he the best fucking CMC in my six years. I’m ready to serve my last two years with some god damn justice. Guess I will prepare for the marine corps I thought I was actually getting myself into ( the one I saw as a kid growing up) sir if I could I’d stay in for life if you would stay the CMC. Moto!!!! SGT B says: August 14, 2012 at 5:59 PM Glad to hear you’re a fan of the site Sir! General James Mattis says: August 14, 2012 at 4:16 PM Thanks for the well balanced and thoughtful profile Duffel Blog. You are the the only military news site that I ever read. M-4 Fromer Cpl. C.H. Schneider 2448465 says: August 23, 2012 at 9:18 AM Dear Gen. Mattis, Asa former Marine, one from the last of the “Old Cops” 68-72, we all wish you well Sir. From the article and the language used you appear to be a Marines Marine, Good for you Sir it’s about fucking time. Give em hell Sir! Weed out the slackers and half steppers and get our beloved Marine Corps back to what it once was, a Killing Machine! DC says: September 1, 2012 at 5:52 AM The Marine Corps has and always will be a killing machine; don’t know where you get your information from that we need to back to what we were; we never left. Current GySgt in TODAYs Corps; as good as it ever WAS Kevin McQuade says: September 3, 2012 at 1:10 PM Hey Gunny, old broken down flyboy that remembers also 69-79 and they did NOT HAVE USMC WRITNG TRAFFIC TICKETS AND TRAINING POLICE OFFICERS WHO THEN TURNED ON THEM WITH DEADLY FORCE!! GEN MATTIS KICK SOME …. ASS DON’T. OTHER WITH thier names. Cuz if YOU KICKED EM they don’t deserve TO BE REMEMBERED just saying GUNNY no disrespect to the CORP, it the Civilians who all Military have to take Orders from that are FUCKING IT UP. SNAFU? Nope TurnThe GEN LOOSE and it will be as IT SHOULD BE not as those Liberal Progressive Legalistic Pantywastes are Making it! No HERO/ HONORED TO HAVE SERVED W/SAME from ALL THE SERVICES! BDFB out CPT 2003 says: September 5, 2012 at 9:02 AM a joke – the kind only a Marine (or former Marine) can get away with – “so as it happens, a drunk was staggering around Tunn Tavern in November of 1775 when he ran into Capt. Robert Mullins. The drunk asked the officer what he was doing, the response ‘recruiting enlisted Marines, and if you sign here, you can be the very first one,’ the drunk excitedly signed on, and after being given his marching orders, staggerred down to the pier to report to aboard a Frigate to be put to work. As he staggerred up the ladder and aboard the ship, he was stopped by a Chief – ‘Wait, who/what the $^% are you?!?!?!?’ – a Marine came the reply – well ‘I have never had one of those before, so go stand by that hatch over there and sober up and we’ll figure out what to do with you later’ came the guidance . . . Several hours later, another drunk staggerred over to hatch (he having been given the same guidance) . . . and lo, the Marine who had been there since the beginning gave the boot a hard look up and down, sucked his teeth, and slowly shook his head . . . the boot asked WTF!??!?!?!?! the response (after he was bulkhead/hatch counselled for being discourteous to his superiors) was ‘yep, and if you think this is hard, you should have been here in the OLD CORPS!'” here endedth the lesson . . . Kevin McQuade says: September 3, 2012 at 12:58 PM GEN MATTIS,SIR it would be My HONOR INDEED to be re upped so as to be able to allow your MARINES to JUMP OUT OF MY perfectly good AIRCRAFT, SIR! I tied I 68- 69 to get River Boats 1st w/ USCG( who knew Kerry’s Swifty’s were NOT the only one’s on thoseWaters?)- Navy said no also- had a # 4 my Love Letter – Enlisted- USAF- wanted CCT/FAC- went thru dreg AF BASIC/PLUS PRE BENNING- denied no depth perception- halo at night can’t see the ground coming up- shut up chair force want you to FLY! OOOOWW! Sonic you need a Leg to watch I’ll go, but this time CAN I STAY AND PLAY? I just can’t shake this YOU WERE JUST A SOCOR MOMsropping off all the EQUIPT. & PLAYERS but YOU CAN’T EVEN WATCH the game – so how’s about it SIR?!! Broken down FlyBoy justs wants to have fun too. BDFB out Bill Perkins says: September 20, 2012 at 5:51 PM Good comment Cpl but the ole Corps ended between the Korean War and the Vietnam War. I went in on Jan. 10f 63 and all the old uniforms were already gone by then.