Bin Laden’s Body ‘Tastes Awful’, Reports Barracuda Paul September 11, 2012 OPFOR 24 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: ARABIAN SEA – A yellowtail barracuda deep in the Arabian Sea reported today that Osama bin Laden’s body tastes “absolutely awful” and he was having second thoughts about continuing to feed on the terrorist leader. Bin Laden, the former head of terrorist group al Qaeda, was killed on May 2, 2011 by a team of Navy SEALs. His body was recovered and taken aboard the USS Carl Vinson, and soon after was “buried at sea”, according to official reports. The barracuda, who goes by the name Barry, said that when he initially discovered the body, he was “overjoyed at getting a new treat instead of the usual palate of fish” that he’s used to. “I was swimming around just minding my own business when I saw this weird shaped fish wrapped up in white cloth,” said Barry. “Once it settled on the bottom, I realized it was a human body and tried to break through.” The 60 cm fish said he initially had trouble uncovering the terrorist’s remains. “They really wrapped that thing well. They weren’t kidding about the proper Islamic burial ritual,” reported Barry after using his tail to whip bin Laden in the head repeatedly. “After basically ramming my nose through to his eye sockets, then it was like I struck gold.” Barry said he was initially intrigued with different thoughts of what the taste would be like. “Other fish have said that human remains sort of taste like chicken, so I really had my hopes up.” Instead, the barracuda has publicly stated that Bin Laden’s body had this “weird taste of pork.” “It was actually quite disturbing,” said Barry, who is a recent convert to the Muslim faith. “I wanted so badly to stop eating it because it might violate one of the tenets of my religion, but fuck, a fish has gotta eat, ya know?” Despite reservations, Barry has said that he will probably continue to feed on Bin Laden until some Somali pirates are “hopefully dropped into [his] underwater neighborhood.” Chish McFicken says: September 12, 2014 at 2:44 PM Barry, make sure to spit out the lead pieces Tim Morrison says: September 11, 2014 at 6:59 PM I think there’s a typo… I think the fish said poop, not pork. Get it right, Paul. Dudley Toelke says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM Mmmmmh! Bacon flavored PETN. Ron Riml says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM This oughta be worth an Embassy or two. Those dumb Fux will believe it like all the Reich Wing Idiots who bought into “Senator Linda Lopez’ Remarks” and got unglued….. Martin K Andrew says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM Love it. Good work Sir! Erich Maria de Villiers says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM Barra Hussein Cuda. Jerry Beingesser says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM Barry poking his nose thru the eye sockets is what grossed me out. Francis Borek says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM So awesome Sarah Persinger says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM Too funny – could definitely use a laugh today! Gregory J McNabb says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM How have not seen this page before! Ervikar Von Glocken says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM Brilliant! Chris Fleisher says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM “weird taste of pork”- lol. Jonn Lilyea says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM This can’t be real! Fish can’t talk nor can they become Muslim – who does TDB think they’re kidding with this? Rich Haas says: February 26, 2014 at 12:57 AM see? that is why it’s called long pig… Cpl gimmeabreak says: September 13, 2012 at 5:09 PM What a fucking gas! Serves that damn fish right for eating a fellow muslim. I say we go give him a buncha Somali pirates to dine on. Of course they may be muslim too! But I’ll volunteer to man the twin 50’s. theriz says: September 13, 2012 at 1:04 PM Any boomers out there remember Baron Baracuda and his evil side-kick Trigger? They were on Garfield Goose after school in Chicago. The Adventures of Diver Dan? Your baracuda even looks like binladen! 1Parachute says: September 12, 2012 at 4:19 PM Very nice! prick77 says: September 11, 2012 at 8:11 PM Just when I think it’s safe to go back in the water.