DoD Announces Support For ‘Military Bronies’

Navy Brony Proudly Displays His Patch

ARLINGTON, VA – The Department of Defense announced their support and “magical friendship” with Military Bronies, in a press conference yesterday.

Secretary of Defense Leon Panetta spoke to members of the media along with over twenty grown men in the audience who he said “had a really creepy love affair with ‘My Little Pony’ — not that there’s anything wrong with that.”

The “bronies” are fans of the My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic television show, an animated series that follows a unicorn pony named Twilight Sparkle. Most of the show’s fan base is made up of young girls.

“While it may seem contradictory for those men you expect to have a killer instinct to enjoy My Little Pony, I do not believe so and I applaud the members of the Military Bronies for their bravery and sacrifice,” said Panetta. “With the recent repeal of Don’t Ask Don’t Tell, we can’t expect any less from our military than to accept each and every service member, regardless of what fucked up stuff they’re into.”

Panetta also stated that the mission of FOB Equestria and the combat units in Afghanistan “are one in the same.”

“Our mission in Afghanistan is similar to the Military Bronies motto of ‘Love and Tolerate.’ I see no reason why the two can’t coexist.”

General Martin Dempsey also stood behind the bronies, and rebuffed critics who say they bring a negative image to the Army.

“Really, I couldn’t care less. The guys that are into this shit, they’re POG’s [Persons Other Than Grunt]. It’s not like you’re going to see a grunt with one of those rainbow colored lighting patches. A rainbow

The Colors of the 42nd Infantry Division

patch would probably be the gayest thing I could imagine in the Army.”

When reminded of the 42nd Infantry Division’s rainbow patch, General Dempsey commented, “Fuck me! Seriously? Great, well now I know what unit to recommend we get rid of first with these budget cuts.”

Even the Taliban has caught on to the new trend and released a statement to TDB.

“What the hell is this shit? They’re going to love and tolerate us to death? Seriously though, these guys are creepy, make your American General get rid of them. First you hit us with glitter bombs, and now this blatant human rights violation. Eleven years of waging war, and this is what America has to offer? Magical ponies?”

The leaders of FOB Equestria have praised the DOD for it’s support of their alternative lifestyle as they seek to make the armed forces a safe place for child mole….. bronies.


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19 Comments

    • The comment about the 42nd was funny. If they tried to retire the Division they are going to end up sorry and sore. The 42nd has a rich history and many influential members. But we did make fun of it too. We started getting razzed about the off center patch and I had one CSM that I almost cut his damn hand off because he was messing with my patch.

    • If you like P & F check out Fanboy & Chum Chum. My kids can’t stop watching it on Netflix and when I’m there it makes me feel like I’m tripping

      • I think ‘real’ is the word he was searching for. Nothing that involves multi-hued ‘ponies’ is legit when you are a grown man unless your name is ‘Chuck Jones’ or you’re taking your grandkids to see a Saturday matinee. Most dads are too smart to get roped into that bs but grandfathers forget the excuses we used and we’ve gotten soft.

        Real as in actual, yes. Legit, no.

  1. OLIVE OIL $1store barbies PINK PANTIES BABY BOO HOO not marines KEEP IT TO YOURSELF! Who the hell told you WE WANTED TO KNOW HOW You conduct your supposed to be PRIVATE SEX PRATICES or living little girl toys? DON’T TRY TO MAKE ALL OF US CHOKE ON YOUR LIVES! And you best not try to force it on my grand kids CUS GRANDPA GOT A TEMPER! Don’t care what you do with YOUR LIFE! Don’t begin to think YOU CAN FORCE YOUSELF INTO MINE! Not hate. REAL SOUND GOOD NEIGHBORLY ADVICE!! NUFF sed twinkle toes

  2. First let me say that this is not about pedophilia or about homosexuality. A real man is secure wearing pink shirts, hanging out in chatrooms with young girls and gender confused boys and occasionally engaging in ‘roleplaying’ with them. These men see through society’s sick conventions that keep them from connecting to the child inside of all of us. I for one feel that this is a great step for American servicemen everywhere. Reading the chat rooms of these bronies might makes us feel a little uncomfortable but hey, who hasn’t pretended to be a multi-hued centaur or unicorn while chatting with a school-age girl?

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