Blasting Shrill Whistle Throughout Ship Great For Morale, Navy Study Finds Drew Ferrol October 17, 2012 Navy 27 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: NORFOLK, VA — A surprising US Navy study recently found the greatest way to increase shipboard morale was to blast earsplitting whistles over the intercom at random intervals. “We were surprised at the results,” said Force Master Chief Rachel Michaels. “We thought better food or larger berthings would make sailors happier. Turns out the thing they like the most are whistles so loud they can cause pain.” “Our study found the only thing sailors like more than a boatswain’s mate’s whistle over the 1MC is sounds of pure feedback from the speakers at maximum volume,” Michaels added, screaming over jet engine blasts on a carrier deck. “So we’re going to try doing that too. We also expect all sailors to take our hearing conservation program seriously.” “Oh yeah, the whistles are great,” said Aviation Ordnanceman Second Class Howard Davis. “At 0600 we get woken up by a whistle that’s loud as hell, and it’s followed by another one that’s a minute and a half long. It’s the best way to start the morning. Throughout the day they blast the whistles for no reason. I’ve heard the different sounds mean different things, and I’m trying my hardest to learn them. If I can’t distinguish between a set of whistles and trills I might miss an important announcement.” “I’ve never heard any whistling on board,” Boatswain’s Mate First Class Jeff Kelly said when asked for comment. “It’s called piping.” BM1’s face turned beet red and he began shouting orders to calm himself down. “Muster on the forecastle after chow! Stand at attention Seaman! It’s not a fucking rope, it’s a line!” Unfortunately, Chief Michaels had to cut her interview with Duffel Blog short, saying she had an important Task Force on improving upon the well-received blue camouflage uniform. “It’s going to take us at least four years of research and a few hundred million dollars,” Michaels said, “but we are working hard to fulfill our sailors’ request to replace all pants zippers with thirteen button flaps.” Don't miss the next story.Get the latest news and alerts from Duffel Blog delivered to your inbox—free. Short URL: http://duffelblog.com/auuvR James Fuller says: June 17, 2014 at 5:29 PM “but we are working hard to fulfill our sailors’ request to replace all pants zippers with thirteen button flaps.” Delicious. Tom Butchers says: May 30, 2014 at 4:58 PM As a submarine sailor we didn’t have to deal with those damn things but the two years I was in exile on the tender….. Getting underway and having that stupid one that went on for like 5 minutes before they went “Ferthecrew” I wanted to kill myself. Doc Dean says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM To my shipmates…..you’ll get it, Brandon Davis, your going to get it! Laugh now! Donald Wayne Keimig says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM Oh yeah. NOT! Made me want to rip the speakers off the wall. Ricardo Pelaez says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM ah the whistles. Josh Noble says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM FYI, I hear bells on the USS Ronald Reagan, but the principle is the same. And a BM1 yelling AT HIMSELF seems like something they would do. Deck apes. Russell McGee says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM Sweepers sweepers man your brooms! Harry Keat says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM There’s nothing I love more than ear-splitting whistles! John Trester says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM As a BM3 on the Taluga I teamed up with another”baby boats”, and we could pipe mess call long enough and loud enough to make even the captain send a steward around to “stop that” before we were finished. It is the perfect way to start your day: piss off all hands. Ah, the memories… Cesar Varela says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM EVERY MORNING I wanted to shoot the person whistling that in the fucking throat…. which was damn near all the time… every day was the worst day of my life… USS Juneau… Gunner’s Mate… Bevan Conole says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM Ah the joys of life at sea! Christopher Leete says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM Why were we told to say “twenty-hundred” instead of “eight o’ clock”, then they tell us to submit our Eight O Clock reports instead of twenty hundred reports? Mind….melting… Michael Fabre says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM The last XO of the USS Shenandoah (AD-44) preferred bugle calls to the bosun’s pipe. Really? Bugles on a ship! It sounded like an Army base and was more annoying than the whistling! RIchard Diekman Sr says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM Get some sailors here! It is not a whistle, it is a Bos’n Pipe Bueno Andrew Coetzee says: April 16, 2014 at 2:09 AM I love piping and it is only annoying if it done badly. leftoftheboom says: October 18, 2012 at 6:41 AM Proof that everyone in the Navy likes to blow things and the tell about it. Tom says: October 17, 2012 at 10:34 PM So sailors no longer have to dress like convicts? I always thought that bungarees were the real self esteem builders. Lt. Butero-Trinkejo says: October 17, 2012 at 3:15 PM Nothing is better than a rather large orchestra of whistles playing wonderful music at all hours of the day and night… I would also like to add, fortunately the awesome Blue Sea camo turns orange when exposed to saltwater. Longday25 says: October 28, 2012 at 7:47 PM you are an idiot it doesnt turn orange when exposed to salt water…. stupid officer Bob Taylor says: October 17, 2012 at 11:39 AM You called it a whistle, you should go fucking choke yourself. Everyone knows it’s a pipe and the epitome of Nautical Awesomeness. Bob. Bill Wells says: October 17, 2012 at 7:21 PM The actual name is a “call.” The process of the call is called piping as the BM2 noted. However, a whistle is used for ordering salutes as well as when alongside for UNREP. I just loved to hear the receiving vessels three whistles for all hands under cover. I would then put the line throwing projectile in some good targets. I thought that new uniform was called the “Exploding Paint Locker” pattern.