WASHINGTON, D.C. – As American voters head to the ballot box to decide the next President, a shocking poll released from Rasmussen indicates that Joseph Kony has a commanding lead over President Obama, Mitt Romney, and TDB-endorsed candidate Chaz Boatright.
Kony, a Ugandan guerrilla army leader, is the Presidential nominee from the Lord's Resistance Army (LRA) -- a militant political party that has been accused of war crimes -- including the murder of villagers, abduction of children, and numerous violations of campaign finance law.
"This is an absolute shock," said Ben Casey, a spokesman for the anti-Kony Super PAC Invisible Children. "When we kicked off the Kony 2012 campaign, it had a very different goal of trying to bring this war criminal to justice, not bring him to the White House."
Numbers released from Rasmussen show that Kony leads both the Republican and Democrat candidates by over 12 points, and he's finding success with key demographics, to include 18-24 year-olds, who pollsters say support him "out of complete ignorance or idiocy," and military service members, who see Kony as being the only candidate that has prior military experience.
"Kony is the greatest and will bring real change to America!," said Sandra Eikhorn, a 21-year old student at the University of California-Berkeley, who majors in East African Feminine Studies. "After I saw the photos and posters for Kony 2012 all around my school, I joined the campaign in Northern California."
Kony has not made any campaign appearances or released many statements regarding his Presidential run, but he has laid out a partial platform on his Kony 2012 website. The platform supports taxing the rich and giving the money to the lower class and poor, advocates for a strong national defense and offense, and gives free military training for all children at least 5 years of age.
His signature catch phrase throughout the election season has been to provide every American with a "chicken in every pot and an AK-47 in every closet."