Veterans Affairs Makes Life Easier For Vets; Modifies, Loses Records Drew Ferrol November 28, 2012 News 11 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: VA Secretary Eric Shinseki OAKLAND, CA – A local Veterans Affairs office is leading the nation with an innovative approach to veterans issues, by helping military members transition to civilian life by modifying their records without their knowledge, a VA spokesperson said today. “A lot of our employees were getting bored with staring at their desks for 20 straight years,” said Secretary of Veterans Affairs Erik Shinseki, “so to raise morale I told them to start helping veterans in any way they can. Military life is tough, so we want to make civilian life easier for them.” VA Claims Processor Roger Carder says he’s eager to help veterans by working on their specific issues. “Yeah I’m doing this guy a big favor,” said Carder as he rifled through the file of a former Army Specialist. “He got out with an honorable discharge so he deserves a break. I changed his records to indicate he was fully disabled so he wouldn’t have to get any kind of strenuous job. He called up a week later saying he got fired because his boss thought he was cheating the system. I told him I didn’t have the authority to change his records and couldn’t help him.” “He’s much better off now. He shouldn’t have had to work so hard.” “I’m helping someone right now,” Rachel Smith said after placing a caller on hold briefly for three hours. “He’s saying he has PTSD and needs immediate psychiatric counseling. We’re supposed to get them an appointment within twenty four hours but I told him there aren’t any openings for three months. PTSD is one of those things that you’re better off dealing with on your own.” The VA also launched its new “Tough Love” campaign, where they help veterans by giving them new challenges to overcome as part of a learning experience. “I’m helping a girl named Sally right now,” said VA Case Manager Jason Marquez. “She joined the Army at 18 and got out at 22. She wants to go to college on the GI Bill. The Army gave her a steady paycheck so she’s never had a chance to deal with serious financial stress. I hid all her forms in my desk so she had to take out a bunch of student loans. Her savings ran out so she got evicted from her apartment, dropped out, and moved back in with her parents.” Marquez added, “Luckily the Tough Love campaign helped her gain a crushing amount of debt and she doesn’t qualify for GI Bill payments because she’s not in college anymore. It’s a good lesson we all have to learn sometime.” Tim Wagner says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM Frigging hit it on the head!! Jason D Sousley says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM I really wish they would quit putting true stories out there… Tom James says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM Truth hurts I guess. 3 yrs and my Congressman’s help just to get in the VA because “I took five people in Atlanta before they found someone who knew the answer to their question” of no one bothered trying until my Congressman got involved. Who’s really this countries enemies? Stephanie Grant says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM Even though this is a satire, there is at least a sliver of truth in it! Don King says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM I sense a little more angst behind this one than just satire… Brian Britton says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM haha! The lighter side of dealing with the VA. I think everyone whose ever dealt with the VA for any reason at any time can get a good laugh at this. Good one hahahaha. Brandon Jewell says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM I really do not understand why so many people have had problems with the VA I had no issues with post 9/11 GI Bill and always get paid for what I should be paid for, and the health care has been good sure it takes a few weeks to get an appointment, but it always works out, and I had a 6k procedure this summer that I could not have afforded and found a problem before it was serious. BriGette McCoy says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM Satire at its finest – its especially sad because it “seems” more real than satirical Bob Harris says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM I’ve been dealing with the VA on an upgrade of my disability for 11 years and still getting stonewalled because of a monstrous backlog. When I enlisted I was promised healthcare for service related injuries but it was not to be. Darrell Heidi Baranowski says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM You guys really need to stop posting VA stories. It makes me angrier every time i read the “satire”. Now I’m off to cash my third GI Bill check for $7.32 cents. Apparently, they got word that my professor let class out 15 minutes early one night and it fucked up their prorate calculations. Richard Dickson says: January 3, 2014 at 1:38 AM Shinseki and his cronies need to be put in jail for the rest of their lives. I have been battling colon cancer for 20 years and battling the VA for 17 years. I should be 100% disabled and the VA owes me $480,000 in back disability payments. I live in Nebraska and we have some antiquated laws about suing the VA office in Lincoln. I hope other vets have better luck with lawyers and the VA than I have.