BREAKING: Massive Search Underway For Hot Italian Chick Spotted At Base Chow Tent
CAMP STONE, AFGHANISTAN — American soldiers are engaged in a massive search for a hot new Italian chick after she was first spotted in the Camp Stone Chow Tent line late Sunday night.
The incident happened around 8:30pm in the grilled cheese line, which is adjacent to the main line near the entrance of the tent.
According to junior troops, a long-legged, dark-haired woman of foreign descent ordered one grilled cheese sandwich with a presumed Italian accent as multiple American men stared at her. She waited three to four minutes for her sandwich to be ready and then proceeded on to another section of the tent where she was spotted once again eating alone before departing at an unknown time.
Troops are currently scouring the base for the new Italian chick and hanging out near the female berthing area and latrines hoping to pick up on her trail.
“We just want to make sure she stays safe out here,” Specialist James Rhodes told Duffel Blog.
This is the second new hot foreign chick spotted at the joint base this month, and the third to order a grilled cheese sandwich since the beginning of the new year.
“We like to report just about everything in our PowerPoints to the General,” said Captain Tony Rodriguez. “Just as an unrelated example, the PTDS (Precision Threat Detection System) has also picked up an increase in soldiers masturbating while on guard duty.”
No other new chicks were reported, and the Chow Tent remains open for meals.