Weiner Tells Veterans Group It’s Time To ‘Move Past’ Pics Of Penis He’s Currently Snapping Beneath Podium
NEW YORK – Embattled New York City mayoral candidate Anthony Weiner told a small gathering of veterans and reporters this morning that it was time to “move past” all the photos of his exposed penis he was taking beneath a podium while simultaneously addressing the crowd.
Just prior to delivering remarks from the Intrepid Sea, Air and Space Museum concerning his ideas on how to best support the city’s returning war veterans, Weiner was bombarded with reporters’ questions as to why he kept staring down toward his crotch while angling his iPhone in the same direction.
“I said that other photos were likely to come out. And today, at this very moment, they are,” Weiner said from behind a wooden podium, which helped to mask the fact that the former U.S. representative was nude from the waist down.
“I have said in the past that these things that I did — and am currently now doing — are wrong and hurtful to my wife and my constituents, and I am truly sorry,” Weiner continued.
“But this behavior is behind me, and I believe it’s time we all move past the photos I am currently taking of my exposed and erect member, so as to put this whole episode in our collective rearview mirror.”
Once his prepared remarks began, Weiner, who has admitted to have had sexually explicit and lewd online chats and photo exchanges under the alias “Carlos Danger” with an undetermined number of women since resigning from congress in 2011 for that same reason, told the crowd of roughly 60 veterans that he personally shares many of their core values, including loyalty, honor and integrity.
“When I see all of our brave soldiers coming back from overseas — be it the soldiers who fight on the front lines, to the soldiers who fly our Air Force planes and take our ships into harm’s way, to the soldiers who killed Osama bin Laden — my only desire is to make sure that we are serving those young men and women just as much as they have served their country,” Weiner told the group, who responded with a mix of tepid applause and boos.
“And that’s why I don’t want any images of my perfectly-circumcised penis, which I’m currently shooting from an assortment of angles in sepia mode while trying to capture some decent, natural lighting, to serve as some sort of a distraction while we work to help our city’s heroes.”
“Seriously, people, what’s past, and present, is past,” he added.
In a rare sign of bipartisan agreement, members of both major political parties reacted to Weiner’s conduct during his speech with disapproval.
“This kind of behavior — engaging in sexually inappropriate activities while presenting yourself as a potential or current public servant — is completely inappropriate and disrespectful to the very people you hope to serve, as well as the people you surround yourself with,” said San Diego Mayor Bob Filner, a Democrat who is currently fighting off calls to resign amid allegations that he sexually harassed upwards of seven female staffers over the past several years.
“Candidate Weiner’s actions today were nothing short of disgusting, and he certainly needs to learn that one needs to keep one’s own sexual proclivities in the privacy of the bedroom,” said former Republican Sen. Larry Craig, whose career effectively ended in 2007 after he was arrested for trying to solicit sex from an undercover male police officer in a Minnesota airport bathroom stall.
Upon completion of his speech, Weiner was asked via satellite by CNN’s Erin Burnett if he had any intentions of sending out the lewd photos he had just taken.
“As I said, this is all in the past, I’m truly sorry, and I only want to move forward so I can talk about my 64 ideas to keep New York the wonderful city that it is,” Weiner responded.
“But, Erin,” he added, “why don’t you go ahead and give me your number, and I’ll have Carlos text you a more complete response in a little while.”