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WWII Veterans Storm DC Memorial, Take Park Rangers As Prisoners Of War

WASHINGTON, DC — A group of elderly veterans have stormed past the barricades of the World War II memorial and have taken a number of park rangers as Prisoners of War, sources confirmed.

The attack, now in its second day, included more than four busloads of veterans visiting from Mississippi on an “Honor Flight.” Group leader Elmer Lee told reporters he had called for reinforcements.

On Tuesday, after the initial assault into the site, Lee’s forces captured a number of park rangers, who they are still holding at cane-point. Sources confirmed that weeks prior to the attack, the park rangers received numerous intelligence intercepts that the invaders would storm into Arlington National Cemetery or the Washington Monument instead.

Park police set up barricades around numerous sites in the area to ward off any invaders involved in Operation: Wheelchair Garden. “We set up fixed defensive positions all over D.C.,” said Sgt. Alan Rommel of Capitol Police. “It was an impenetrable wall.”

Despite confidence in the defenses, the perimeter fell after a frontal assault from mechanized wheelchair infantry.

“We will get into this site and hold it whether these idiots like it or not,” said Lee, who sources confirmed had stormed the beaches of Anzio and Normandy, in addition to the doors of bingo night at the VFW on most weekends.

Citing the government shutdown, officials have maintained that they were “only following orders.”

Still, the group’s leader remains defiant and fears the possibility of high casualties. “We may just have to drop an atomic bomb on the memorial to win this war,” he told reporters.

In a related story, elderly veterans from Argentina were seen parachuting in over Washington, headed towards the Holocaust Museum.

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John Hughes
Guest
2 years 5 months ago

You know this kinda did happen.Not quite as spectaclerly as Duffel Blog make out ,but they did go on in closed or not.Issue them M-1s ,they should be able to straighten out the D.C. mess,more skosh.

Blake Sharp
Guest
2 years 5 months ago

This is in poor taste those that came before us cou5ldn’t see their own memorial and we make fun of that fact.
4

Michiel VM
Guest
2 years 5 months ago

Once more on the offensive!

Anonymous
Guest
2 years 5 months ago

Gosh I wish I was the Commandant of the Marines. I would send a Company of Marines in full Battle rattle from Quantico to escort these hero’s to the Memorial. Then have the Marines stand guard so the don’t get F*%Ked with until they were good and ready to leave. There were no one year tour for these guys they either won the fight and came home or died in a foreign land never to see home again.

Scott Robinett
Guest
2 years 5 months ago

you make all Americans proud. wonderful!

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