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Lee Harvey Oswald Quietly Added To CIA Memorial Wall

LANGLEY, Va. – Startled employees of the Central Intelligence Agency discovered this morning that Lee Harvey Oswald had been quietly added to the memorial wall at CIA Headquarters. Oswald is widely believed to have assassinated U.S. President John F. Kennedy, or someone dressed like him, in Dallas in 1963.

The action does not appear to have been a prank. As of press time the extra star was still there, along with Oswald’s name listed in the memorial book, located between entries for fallen agents Felix Leiter and Charles Calthrop.

A spokesman from the CIA refused to comment or elaborate on why the agency has added Oswald’s name to the memorial, only saying that after 50 years several documents had been declassified, which have “finally allowed the Agency to set the record straight.”

The documents will be made available to the general public in another twenty years.

Without any further information, CIA analysts were confused about what the action meant.

“So wait, does that mean that the CIA was involved in the Kennedy assassination, or that Oswald just happened to be working for them at the time and got caught up in the dragnet, or what?” complained analyst Dean Paulino. “You can’t just do something like this and not explain it further!”

Oswald’s alleged CIA connections date back to his time as a junior-enlisted radar operator in the Marines during the 1950s, when he was identified as an ideal candidate for covert intelligence work due to his nonjudicial punishment for assaulting a staff noncommissioned officer and his habit of negligent discharges while handling weapons.

Conspiracy theorists are divided about what the CIA’s actions mean; some have argued that this new revelation changes everything, while others have argued it doesn’t change a thing.

“I think the CIA’s admission that Oswald was killed on an agency mission finally proves there was government involvement in the Kennedy assassination,” explained conspiracy theorist Reuben Harris.

Harris, who has already authored Who Cares? Why the Kennedy Assassination Only Matters To People Over Sixty, is writing a new book suggesting that the U.S. government killed Kennedy after he discovered their future plans to fake the moon landings and attack the World Trade Center.

Other theorists disagree, suggesting that Oswald was always a red herring.

“We’ve long suspected that Lee Harvey Oswald was actually killed in 1959 while leading an undercover CIA mission in Cuba against the Castro government,” explained theorist Fred Gordon. “We believe that the individual arrested on November 22, 1963 was actually a KGB assassin trained to impersonate Oswald by the Mafia as part of a false flag operation.”

“Still, we’re happy to see that the CIA is finally coming clean, kinda sorta.”

A group of conspiracy theorists, led by Oliver Stone, have already demanded an internal government investigation, which they peremptorily condemned as a complete whitewash.

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Vincent Roy D'souza
Guest
1 year 5 months ago

They will knit a web of false stories you will never be able to solve.. Which they have done! No body knows who shot the president! The assassin got clean away! Ruby shot Oswald to put the scent on the wrong person!

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[…] y que si hay tantas es porque tienen su público. De hecho no me lo podía creer, así que hice una prueba publicando un tuit con la noticia sobre Oswald y la CIA. No tardaron en llegarme respuestas y RTs de gente que no se lo podía creer, pero que entraron a […]

John Preston
Guest
1 year 6 months ago
….Oswald NEVER went to Mexico City….Hoover PROVED this only 2 days after the assassination. The CIA LIED to Congress and the Warren Commission. In the 1970’s House Assassinations investigation, Chief Investigator Robert Tannenbaum CAUGHT CIA man ,David Atlee Phillips LYING to congress about this. Tannenbaum had CAUGHT the CIA FRAMING Oswald !! OF COURSE Congress IMMEDIATELY withdrew Tannenbaums funding,closed his office, REFUSED to prosecute Phillips and THEN appointed CIA Miami Station Chief George Joannides to be the “new CIA liason” to the House Commitee. OF COURSE…Joannides and top CIA HITMAN David Morales were recently IDENTIFIED in photos taken in the… Read more »
David Smith
Guest
1 year 6 months ago

How could JFK have learned about plans to attack the WTC when the buildings were not built until after he died.

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