LITTLE ROCK, Ark. — A highly-decorated fake SEAL Team 6 commander who served in Korea, Vietnam, the Gulf War, and top secret “black ops” inside Iran in 2009 has outed Don Shipley as a real Navy SEAL, sources confirmed today.
The commander, James Schmidt, has served in a number of fake SEAL Teams throughout his career, and left the service of stolen valor as a Lance Colonel. He graduated from BUD/S class 6991 in Pensacola, Fla.
“I put in a FOIA request and tracked down all of Shipley’s supposed ‘claims’ about being in the SEAL teams,” Schmidt told reporters while holding a military DD-214 document. “You know, all these extravagant stories about being involved in ops all over the world. The records show that’s literally zero percent bullshit.”
Those true stories make life much harder for men like Schmidt, he says. “All these real world exploits are making it harder for guys like me to bullshit our way through free drinks at the VFW.”
Shipley, who retired from the Navy in 2003, served in SEAL Teams One and Two.
“He even runs this ‘Extreme SEAL Experience‘ where he runs people through this course based on his ‘supposed military experience’ that is totally in keeping with his thorough training and 23-year career in Naval Special Warfare,” said Schmidt. “I mean, the balls on this guy.”
Unfortunately for men like Schmidt, his passion for preserving his fake military credentials proves no match as long as Shipley continues his crusade of displaying valor.
“This guy actually calls himself a Navy SEAL, yet he’s never written a book about his training,” said Schmidt. “This is amateur hour over here.”
At press time, Schmidt was seen at a local bar telling a woman about the time he shot Osama bin Laden, but added that “he didn’t really like to talk about it.”