PYONGYANG, NORTH KOREA — In a move that outsiders are referring to as both daring and provocative, North Korean leader "Lil'" Kim Jong-un has announced that his country's air defense zone will now extend 2,500 miles to the east, effectively encompassing the entire eastern United States.

This marks a substantial increase over North Korea's previous air defense zone, which extended only as far as Los Angeles.

Speaking in a televised address, Kim laid out the new boundaries and warned of dire unspecified consequences should anyone violate North Korea's airspace.

He added that North Korea is already keeping tabs on all flights in its new defense zone, via its integrated detection network of manned lunar outposts and motion sensors buried deep within the earth's crust.