Point/Counterpoint: The Range Is Clear

34

The following is a point/counterpoint opinion article written by each side of the range paddle.

The White Side of a Two-Toned Range Paddle — The Range is Clear

The range is clear. I repeat, the range is free from obstruction and cleared hot. This is a first, ladies and gentlemen; in all my time as the white side of a two toned range paddle, I’ve never seen a range so squared away. Even PV2 Washington has managed to pulled his head out of his ass, gain sentience, and square away his M249. Hooah.

Firers, assume a good supported prone position. The range NCOs will be by to clear you for firing. In sum, despite Sgt. Smith clearly not paying attention, there are no hazards present which would prevent a volley of rounds from being sent towards the berm. Nothing at all; no human beings, grass fires, or inclement weather appear on the horizon. The range is clear — Soldiers, lock, and load your weapons.

The Red Side of a Two-Toned Range Paddle — The Range is not Clear

Hold all fire; Hold all fire! Eject your magazines, place your weapon on safe, and, keeping the barrel pointed down range, place your rifles on the sandbags in front of you. The white side of a two toned range paddle is either blind or just a bit slow on the uptake. Specialist Henry’s kevlar strap is clearly not fastened. This ain’t goddamned Apocolypse Now, kid.

But, I don’t blame you. This is your NCO’s fault. Now straighten your ass out so we can get this show on the road; I wanna get home to my kids sometime before 9:00 p.m. Whoa! The range is not clear; there is movement near the 300 meter target in lane 3! This might indicate the presence of wildlife, and the U.S. Military takes the maintenance of post fauna very seriously. Furthermore, one cannot discount the possibility of a dependent wandering onto the firing line.

Remember, safety is our first priority, hooah?