Marine Commandant Hosts Book Burning At 8th & I Lee Ho Fuk February 13, 2014 Marine Corps 20 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: WASHINGTON — In the wake of censuring the Marine Corps Times and removing it from prominent newsstand locations at base exchange stores worldwide, Commandant of the Marine Corps Gen. James Amos continued his campaign of ‘professionalization’ by hosting a book burning at the Marine Barracks 8th & I, sources confirmed today. After publishing a directive prohibiting commanders from using budget funds to purchase the Times, Amos ordered a barracks-wide search for ‘Marine Times contraband’ and other publications he viewed as subversive or undermined his ‘Awakening’ movement. “We’re trying to reawaken the ethical character of our Marines,” said Amos. “Intellectual activity outside the approved Commandant’s Reading List is a danger to the purity of Marine character.” Offensive books like Terminal Lance‘s popular ‘Knife Hands’ and Maj. Gen. Smedley Butler’s ‘War Is A Racket’ were hurled through barracks windows Wednesday evening in what lance corporals are now referring to as ‘The Field Day of Broken Glass.’ Working parties unceremoniously dumped the books on the 8th & I parade deck along with copies of Marine Corps Times. Also among the contraband publications was a three volume set of ‘The Complete Calvin And Hobbes.’ “The ‘Marine Corps Enquirer’ and these other morally corrupt tomes promote an ideology that is strictly un-Marine,” said Amos while hurling kerosene on a stack of ‘impure’ literature. “They fly in the face of the ethical reawakening of the Marine spirit. We need a literary purge of our base exchanges and barracks rooms. Today starts a new age of Marine strength and purity that will last a thousand years.” With that the Commandant wiped his ass with the latest issue of Marine Corps Times then lit it on fire before throwing it on the heap of subversive material. “Marines! The age of arrogant journalistic intellectualism is now at an end!” exclaimed Amos over the flames. “We are doing the right thing at this midnight hour — to consign to the flames the unclean spirit of the past twelve years. This is a great, powerful, and symbolic act. Out of these ashes the phoenix of a new Corps will arise. Oh Century! Oh Science! It is a joy to be alive!” As the bonfire erupted in flames accompanied by working parties singing the Marine’s Hymn, Gen. Amos revealed a new periodical to be added to the front areas of exchanges across the Corps. Titled “Reveille” it will be the official publication of the Marine awakening. “Reveille,” set to hit newsstands later this week, will feature tips and tricks to get a better PFT score, advice on proper uniform wear, and a new Terminal Lance-esque comic strip called “Oohrah Devil Dog.” At the completion of the Commandant’s D.C.-area book burning, Amos told reporters he would conduct similar cleansing events from the “2nd Marines in North Carolina all the way to the 3rd Marine Reich in Hawaii.” Peter Cila says: May 10, 2014 at 7:24 PM Umm with all respect to the Commandant….maybe he should see the other Marine Corps bases around….maybe he should interact with some of the Marines that are not in 8 and I? Maybe he should take time to see how Marines are in the Okinawa Bases, or in Pendleton? and see how low the Morale is….Instead of doing a book burning of all “propaganda” as he says….I mean come on, Terminal Lance….what next? Sean Dalton says: April 5, 2014 at 5:59 PM I know this is satire but Smedley Butler’s “War is a Racket” should be required reading for all service members. Gen. Butler, known as the fighting Quaker, was the most decorated Marine of his era and had 2 Medals of Honor. The General’s insight on war is valuable to us all. M-a Crombp says: February 25, 2014 at 11:39 PM Wtf I just read it… Katherine Skopik says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM about damn time the military adopted a sense of humor. J'myle Koretz says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM The author even got the number of volumes in a set of “The Complete Calvin and Hobbs” right. No detail is too small. Josh Noble says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM The only books a service member needs are those recommended by high ranking officers. We can’t have thinking people questioning orders. It’s bad for good order and discipline. Now when will they ban reading the Declaration of Independence? It contains some radical ideas and accusations against high ranking people as well. And who will sneak in porn? Steve Kirkeby says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM Wait …… Marines can read? Kevin Mullis says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM All heil the 1000 year Reichs Corps! Chuck Doofé says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM And it was only a matter of time. Amos has been likened to Hitler. John Sehler says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM WTF The Marines couldn’t pass a spelling test so you know they can’t read. You are just wasting time showing them books qr news papers. Gian Carlos Wolf says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM For further General Amos commentary please view: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3sW1o1PHRsE Sean Whitenton says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM This guy is completely out of control. He is trying to remake the entire Marine Corps into his own personality cult. This is dangerous- to our great nation well beyond the Marine Corps. Somebody needs to clip his wings lest he attempt to use the Corps as his own royal guard and use it to mount an insurrection against the duly elected civilian leaders of our country. If he isn’t stopped soon we shouldn’t be at all surprised should he try to seize power for his own ends. This does not bode well at all. Jeff Skjelver says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM I really enjoy the timely and enlightening reporting from the Duffel Blog. Paul Palko says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM In a related tactical action, Amos declared Duffel Bog computer linkage to be a capital offense, carrying a penalty of forced waterboarding with douche cleansers until the offender became eligible for a direct commission to the new rank of robotenant. Set drones on stun. Dan Widge says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM Tell me they didn’t really burn Calvin and Hobbs! This is actually not far from being true….in some camps on my deployments, the local ass clowns I mean leaders would remove news papers if they didn’t like something in them. They’d turn off all TV sets and shut off the feed if they knew some news on CNN might “hurt moral” Joseph Diamond says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM Well, it is about time! Fix bayonets, PLEASE! THANK YOU for that lovely strike mission. YES, I will RESPECT you in the morning! LET ME APOLOGIZE for kicking in your door and knocking out your teeth! DB is gonna take heat for this one! Get the name and rank of the individuals who like this one! “About damn time they got that smut out of the guard rooms. Marines have enough trouble doing their jobs without all that thought provoking stuff.”….. Joe Skipper Whitesocks says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM Will those 8th & I boots be able to claim lung damage from the open pit book burning or will they have to “take back the barracks” to force the VA to settle their claims? Rick Cook says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM Keep on poking that SOB! I have served under officers for whom I would willingly have gone to my certain death. Amos…I wouldn’t follow to free beer. Michael Pressley says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM “and a new Terminal Lance-esque comic strip called “Oohrah Devil Dog.” Good Lord, don’t let Max see this. Taff Hughes says: February 15, 2014 at 8:12 PM (In the spirit of this post) The latest is that Amos ordered the destruction of all copies of ‘The Red Badge of Courage’, because he didn’t want the marines to ‘read Commie propaganda’.