A-10 Warthog Seen Crying On Sidelines After Being Cut From Defense Team Paul February 25, 2014 Air Force 21 Comments PrevNextUse your ← → (arrow) keys to browse THE PENTAGON — A U.S. Air Force A-10 Warthog ground attack plane was seen sulking and sobbing on the sidelines of the Pentagon’s sporting complex, after it was completely cut from the national defense team on Monday. “I work my ass off out there. I practice more than half these guys,” said the A-10 in between sobs. “How the hell could they choose the F-35 over me? For a so-called ‘stealth fighter’, he sure is getting intercepted a whole heck of a lot.” While picking teams for its annual scrimmage against North Korea, the U.S. National Security team picked the Global Hawk drone, the F-35, and budget levels from before World War II. Forced to sit and watch from the bench were the A-10, the U-2 spy plane, and thousands of soon-to-be unemployed soldiers and Marines. “They’ve got a fucking tank on the team. A TANK. But they don’t pick me?” A-10 asked reporters. “What kind of bizarro world are we living in?” At press time, Air Force Chief Gen. Mark Welsh was seen pushing the A-10 into a locker and stealing its lunch money. Jake Weiser says: June 7, 2014 at 9:13 AM They chocked it? Really? Benjamin Varner says: May 29, 2014 at 1:44 PM http://www.badassoftheweek.com/warthog.html Frederick J. Calabrese says: May 27, 2014 at 6:59 PM A10 don’t care. A10 don’t give a shit. Tad Marko says: May 13, 2014 at 1:40 PM We should be cancelling the F-35 (and trying again, as an F-16 replacement is needed, but not one that expensive) and building new A-10s. Keith Rowand says: May 13, 2014 at 1:40 PM There was a joke about building a new air force base – first they build the O-Club, then the NCO-Club & Enlisted Club. Then the golf course. By this point the budget is shot, so they go back to Congress for more money for the runway. They’re doing the same sh!t with their budget now – spend money on all the gee-whiz stuff knowing Congress will cave w more $$ for the very necessary A-10. Steve Price says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM This site is just way too funny. Steven Thickstun says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM Hey A-10. If you could just leak more oil on the hanger deck the Marine Corps might give you a job. Also, a bayonet might help….. Angry Warrant says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM “and thousands of soon-to-be unemployed soldiers and Marines.” Don’t worry- once they give up looking for jobs, they’re no longer unemployed! I’ve seen those A-10s in action. Talk about reaching out and touching someone! Hells yes. Steve Price says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM Having said that , your President Potus is. at this very moment, writing a very sternly worded letter to President Putin for intervening in the Ukraine. Michael A Benner says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM *Spoiler note, Satire acknowledged* To be fair, the Abrams is pretty cool too. It’d be like your 300 lb linebacker, that can run at 60 mph ungoverned and kill any weakass running back or wide receiver who tries running at it, or away from it. For curiosities sake, what position would the A-10 have been anyway, if it would have been gridiron football? Jennifer Childress says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM Well Crimea river! You are still putting them out great. Please change the ending and commit the A-10s to an underground squadron of revolutionaries called Angry Birds. We are Freedom Fighters! Konrad Swartzmiller says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM AFSOC won’t let them go Jay Levine says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM you don,t see the Russians getting rid of their Sukoi SU-25 Frogfoot Aircraft wich is their version of our -10 Jay Levine says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM we need to fire everybody in washington and start over again ,too many crooks, this defense cuts are going to bite us in the A@% ,mark my words it will come back on us Jay Heathman says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM The A10, which I consider the finest aircraft ever flown, was considered too ‘scary looking’ by Secretary Chuck Pussyboy Hagel. “We can NOT allow our weapons of war to have a look which could frighten or offend any of our fellow human beings. Besides, one of my muslim advisers said that the painted eyes and teeth could resemble a pig, which is considered unclean bby muslims, and they would not like us if we didn’t do away with that appearance.” He was also quoted off the record as saying that the giant protruding 30mm Gatling slightly resembled a penis, which made many alQueada members have erections which interfered with their mobility. Chuck Lockwood says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM The first time I saw one was at an air show in the 1980s. That was the only time I thought the Air Force might be, just a tad, interested in close air support. Terry LLoyd says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM A-10s don’t cry… Steven Thickstun says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM Hey A-10. If you could just leak more oil on the hanger deck the Marine Corps might give you a job. Also, a bayonet might help….. Robert Taylor says: April 16, 2014 at 2:39 AM I have always admired the A10. It is multilingual. BRRRAAAAP sounds the same in any language.