Military Police Buy 92% Of World’s Truck Nutz, Study Finds
FAYETTEVILLE — A new study released by the Consumer Reporting Agency has found that military police officers purchase the vast majority of the world’s Truck Nutz, steroids, and penis enlargement pills.
The study concluded the average military police officer buys three pairs of Truck Nutz, with most attaching one pair to their truck, one to their patrol car, and one above their desk. The study found this was the most efficient way to ensure they have balls in their face at all times.
Employees at the Truck Nutz headquarters in Long Island were overjoyed by the news. “We are proud to provide our soldiers with the world’s finest rubber testicles,” Truck Nutz CEO Richard Wagner said. “By their request we are developing Dog Nutz, a set of balls for their working dogs. We are also working on a set of Nutz that will pour Jager bombs.”
Col. John Otter, a provost marshal who demands to be referred to as “Dominator,” agreed to an interview with Duffel Blog while taking a break from polishing his S…
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