Obama Authorizes Drone Strike On Putin Paul March 2, 2014 OPFOR 12 Comments WASHINGTON — President Obama has authorized a targeted drone strike against Russian President Vladimir Putin following his country’s controversial troop movements into Ukraine’s Crimea, senior administration officials confirmed today. Putin, 61, was added to the controversial “kill list” on Saturday shortly after speaking with the president in a 90-minute phone call. Following the call, the White House readout indicated that Obama spoke for approximately 30 minutes while Putin laughed continuously for the last 60. “I mean seriously,” senior aides reported Obama as saying. “Fuck that guy.” One source, a senior official on the national security council who requested anonymity so as not to also wind up on the list, told Duffel Blog reporters the U.S. planned to blame terrorists if a strike was successful. The source confirmed that multiple Hellfire missiles would have “From Chechnya with Love” painted on the nose, and they would be stamped with “MADE IN CHECHNYA” on the side. While a sensitive and top secret authorization, when reached for comment by Duffel Blog, The White House confirmed the details of a possible strike and attempted to explain the rationale. “I mean, what’s with all the hubbub?” Obama asked, in a phone call with Duffel Blog. “First you get pissed we zap Awlaki since he was an American citizen. Now you’re getting pissed I want to strike Putin?” “Uh hello. He’s a foreigner. Perfectly legal,” he added. Duffel Blog reporter Jay-B contributed to this report. Don't miss the next story.Get the latest news and alerts from Duffel Blog delivered to your inbox—free. Short URL: http://duffelblog.com/eHLjw Steven Melendez says: April 1, 2014 at 5:09 PM John McCain whose feckless now Stuff That James Vachowski Writes says: April 1, 2014 at 5:09 PM Isn’t that how WW1 started? Dan Widge says: April 1, 2014 at 5:09 PM This is funny as a rubber crutch…but my “guess” is that Obama will not do a damn thing to stop the Russians. Mankind Harison says: April 1, 2014 at 5:09 PM Of course and as usual the international press ( calling themselves Journalists ) who are also partly responsible for the manufactured escalation in Ukraine, enjoys such article to manipulate political uneducated readers. I can only hope that the public opinion will change to the favor of Mr. Putin and the Russian people, ones the truth will come to daylight. If Mr. Obama has really made such statements and Authorizes Drone Strikes against Mr. Putin, as printed in this article , then I suggest especially for the improvement of the Americans political reputation, that Mr. Obama should and re-educate his diplomatic behavior. Carl Beutler says: April 1, 2014 at 5:09 PM My heart just turned into a dick and then got hard like an iron rod. <3 Brian Lee says: April 1, 2014 at 5:09 PM Right and then Putin sends 10 hinds to hit Obama on the golf course! Doc Victor Moss says: April 1, 2014 at 5:09 PM You are in serious trouble, without a doubt. If the KGB (er, I mean FSB) doesn’t come knocking, the Secret Service is bound to. Or maybe the TSA, or the BATF, or the ICE, or the IRS, or the EIEIO. Sean Whitenton says: April 1, 2014 at 5:09 PM Wow. This is an extremely risky and provocative move. POTUS is going to push us into WWIII if he isn’t careful. You can’t go around targeting the leader of a country for what amounts to assassination. There will be consequences and repercussions merely for suggesting it. If he actually goes through with it we are going to be in the biggest showdown since WWII, and for what? This is an extremely foolish move. George Crabtree says: April 1, 2014 at 5:09 PM Does Putin understand satire? Never mind…he has experienced US foreign policy.