Sergeants Major Academy Spokesman Admits E-9s Are ‘Pretty Much Worthless’ Maxx Butthurt April 8, 2014 Army 30 Comments Follow Duffel Blog: FORT BLISS, Texas — Sergeants Major across the Army have reacted with stunned outrage after candid comments from a spokesman for the Sergeants Major Academy were included in a recent story in the Army Times newspaper. Command Sgt. Maj. Rory Malloy, current commandant of the Sergeants Major Academy system of professional NCO education, admitted during an interview with Times’ reporter Leo Shane that the rank and position were both “pretty much worthless.” Malloy also went on to describe how the position of sergeant major was simply a by-product of having to put someone in charge of the first sergeants. “There was really no other reason for it,” he said. “We [at the Sergeant Major Academy] tried to do our best to minimize the damage this position could inflict on the functional Army, teaching things like uniform standards, blind adherence to outdated regulations, and a total disregard for the Army training cycle,” Malloy says in the interview, which was published Tuesday. “Unfortunately the whole thing took on a life of its own. Soon command sergeants major were getting their own parking spots and being allowed to speak in settings they had no business being in, like training meetings.” The Times report, which noted the creation of the rank was for administrative purposes only, details the incredible damage inflicted upon the Army in following years. “You can’t have first sergeants running around without someone in charge of them,” Malloy said. “But this, this is just wrong. We should all just retire after E-8. That’s the last time any of us had actually contributed to the military.” Although the Pentagon did not respond to a request for comment, sources claimed that weeping could be heard coming from Command Sergeant Major of the Army Raymond Chandler’s office, where he had remained locked inside for the past 24 hours. Meanwhile, another source admitted that when the announcement was made, Gen. Ray Odierno began laughing so hard that he had to leave the room. UPDATE: The Pentagon released a statement claiming that The Department of the Army fully supports the implementation of the position of Sergeant Major, and “greatly appreciates the invaluable contributions that the men and women holding that rank offer the service in area beautification, uniform inspection, and reflective belt enforcement roles.” Short URL: http://duffelblog.com/NWMeg Gains Wayne says: November 6, 2014 at 12:13 AM first shirts were kind of scary back in the early 80s lol. started to go in his office for something, rounded the corner and hit the brakes eeeeeeeeeee!!!! first sergeant had the CO in his office explaining quite briskly that he ran the company so his best bet was to get his ass in his office or go play golf or do whatever it was that officers did during the day. and then there was something about while you had your pansy ass sitting in a college classroom I was out there in the jungle teaching young soldiers how to survive nam. sure quite a bit more followed but I decided it was time for my favorite young sergeant to get his can out of there Yvonne Sippel says: July 13, 2014 at 6:44 AM Don’t agree with the uselessness of E-9 positions. In many instances, I believe they act as a buffer (representative) for enlisted personnel. By that I mean their knowledge and experience can prevent officers from running the enlisted soldiers. Since I was in CSS (Food Service), I will speak specifically to my role as the senior food service specialist at Ft. Knox, KY. We were charged with operating 18 dining facilities on a daily basis. Many of these facilities were run by SFC/E7 or civilians. It was my responsibility to ensure each manager had the equipment, personnel and regulatory knowledge of food service operations to do their job. Dining facilities exist solely for enlisted soldiers (officers eat their as a courtesy). I saw many instances where officers would try to commandeer the facilities and run them the way they saw fit. I had to stand firm on many issues to prevent such takeovers. I believe my rank (SGM) and indisputable expertise in my field was the only thing that prevented commanders from running roughshod over dining facility managers. I think it is shortsighted to say that someone who has worked in a specific field for over 20 years is no longer relevant. Jack Bennett says: June 19, 2014 at 11:59 AM The daily training and functions of the Army is NCO Business, The problem with many Sgt Majors is they start hanging with the Officers too much.. It used to make me sick when these guys would join a unit and state I’m here now everything is changing. Bryan McGhee says: May 30, 2014 at 1:14 AM “No one is more professional than I”…If I have to explain it, you don’t understand. When you are a Private, it’s all about you. When you pin on Sergeant Cheverons, it will never be about you again. Big difference between a Non Comissioned Officer and an “E” Grade. Again, if I have to explain, you are probably the latter. That is all. CSM (Retired) McGhee, US Army, USASMA Class 53 Robert Murphy says: May 29, 2014 at 3:14 PM I left the Army because of a dipshit E-9. After making Fort Polk Soldier of the Quarter, he refused to let me go before the E5 board and cancelled my levy for Germany because he wanted me to compete in the Soldier of the Year competition a freaking YEAR later! ETS came first… No way was I going to re-enlist as an E4 and be stuck at Fort Polk for another year. John Brown says: May 19, 2014 at 1:42 PM Great place for all you Chapters 11s and QMP graduates to reinforce the Army’s decision to kick your asses out! Richard Chappell says: May 18, 2014 at 5:54 PM I sooooooooo agree with this, Most SMGs and CSMs are worthless, They will insist on keeping them tho, There is no reason to keep them above Battalion level either Doc Rod says: May 7, 2014 at 6:54 PM I agree with Stan, the command structure is what should be used, their is no need for CSM or SGM, the good old boy system is em breaded, the CSMs that select for new position put unqualified SGMs in positions that are critical, these appointments are disruptive to a command team and overall environment. You now have subordinates going to the CSM/SGM and complaining and you have to answer to the CSM/SGM instead of your commander, how screwed up is that. James Paulsen says: April 18, 2014 at 12:24 PM The grade of E-9, CSM is a political position. A SGM is a Bn’s senior trainer and this rank is earned, respected and deserved. They help the 1SG’s. No 1SG in the US Army would ever voice in public, political positions during his/her career. Bud Parker says: April 17, 2014 at 11:25 PM None of my Sergeant’s Major could ever do much to keep me in line, either. . . Erik Burney says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM The true measure of any SNCO in any service is the manner in which they react to minor violations of basic standards. Disco belts are a good litmus test for whether or not somebody should have their skull bashed in. But, yes, the military is infested with E-9s. Jeffrey Harper says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM Well I this SGM has just wrote himself a pink slip to early retirement if this is true. Pat Cody says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM Shocking! Just shocking! The Noncommissioned Officers in Charge of grass cutting and haircuts worthless? Shocking. Patrick Allis says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM to say the Sgt Major’s are useless you might as well say Generals are as well…it is a position of leadership and experience….I have more respect for most Sgt Maj. than almost all officers. John Sehler says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM Like a fuckin flashing red light on a fuckin dead turtle. Mark Brown says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM Too bad its only satire. I have said for several years now that very same thing. They should do away with E9 positions. Anonymous says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM That picture looks like a game show emcee. Almost all of us will be trying to build another career after separation. I love interviewing E-9’s. Tell me, “chief” – what can you actually do for us? I think we are full up on leadership and motivation… The response is always weak and I don’t remember hiring a single one. Louis Gholston says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM Officers take care of there own, looks like NCO’s don’t. You got to remember there are good officer and NCOs at all ranks and then there are bad ones to. It’s just not smart to comment on a position that can have a positive impact on the force, I have had some good 1SGs and SGMs and bad ones to. So before you do away with E9 make sure you figure out who is going to run the board and be the enlisted advocate at BN, BDE and Div. Can’t say what the SGMs above Div do because they are so detached from the troops they will have the least impact face to face but have the most impact on train standard for commen core, not that MSG or SFC could not do as good of a job but fall shot to the politics at that level of the game, and be leave me there is plenty. But l did feel the last position where I had the most impact on soldiers was 1SG and the position where I had the most one on one time with Soldiers was SQD Leader, just my thoughts. David Maniccia says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM You’ve been “Chiefed!” Augustine Stella says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM I am a retired Master Chief Petty Officer & proud of it! Once I advanced to this position, I worked “Harder”, because of “RHIR” (rank has it’s responsibilities), I understood it went with the territory! The Senior Chiefs & Chiefs subordinate to me were perfectly caplable of rising to the occasion, never underestimate your subordinates. It seems to me that E-9 Malloy should have retired as an E-8, he only took it for the pay raise. Tim Guth says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM This isn’t satire it’s true. Nat Proctor says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM In the Air Force, you’re a Chief or an E-9. If you wonder which you are, you’re an E-9. And even at 1% of the force, there are still too many E-9’s around. Randy Bartlett says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM Company commanders everywhere rejoice. Johnny Hernandez says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM truth hurt , last real rank for SNCO is E-7 thats the last rank to have day to day contact wih the troops , In the Marines you only see the 1st Shirt or Sgt Maj if there is an Inspection or trouble GySgt , Chiefs and Sgt 1st class see the troops every day and live with thier bitches, likes and family troubles and joys , so yes the truth hurts Dan Widge says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM this is very factual. They serve no useful purpose. I will never forget a few ot them who would stick their nose into training for an MOS they never held….but try to train Soldiers on very tech stuff….and fuck it up. Skipper Whitesocks says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM When will Duffelblog start doing satire again? Oh well, at least I got to see a pic of those hot looking hashmarks on ‘ole boy’s dress uniform again… Scooter McHeadshot says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM I have to struggle to remind myself this is satire, it’s so close to the truth! Erich Maria de Villiers says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM What’s the difference between Sergeants Major Academy & the Police Academy movies ? Nobody walks out of a Police Academy movie laughing uncontrollably. Stan Anderson says: April 16, 2014 at 3:24 AM In 1994, I attended the United States Army First Sergeant Course at Fort Bliss. Our class Facilitator was a Master Sergeant (Promotable), and recent graduate of the SMA awaiting reassignment. During one of our class discussions, the worth of the Sergeants Major Academy came up. I responded that I thought it best that the SMA be disbanded, and the the money be spent on allowing newly promoted Sergeants (E-5), a one year paid leave of absence to attend a college of their choice. My thought being that the education investment in the young Sergeants would be a tremendous improvement to the overall competence of the Army, and a major contribution to the nation as a whole. You could have heard a pin drop in the classroom. The SMA is an enormous waste of the Army’s limited resources.