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Senior Officers Boldly Echo Meaningless Nothings During Staff Meeting

HEROES CONFERENCE ROOM – In an audacious display of professional cunning and original thought, that major in the corner with the hooah-haircut just flatly agreed with the senior officer across the table that spoke before him.

“Broadly concur on all points, sir,” the intrepid major reportedly voiced to a visibly pleased lieutenant colonel. “That reflects very much how we see things at our level.”

The major’s comment marked just one of many daring contributions in a meeting that, according to non-commissioned officers everywhere, bears no consequence whatsoever outside of the participants’ own imaginations.

“I think you hit the nail right on the head, Steve,” said another sniveling, silver-haired O-5, who peers say constantly knocks it out of the park with insightful comments like this. “That’s a good roadmap for the way forward and a lot of outstanding work by you and the guys.”

“I also want to highlight something the general said a moment ago that was really crucial,” the star-chasing fuck continued, going on to repeat nearly verbatim the series of platitudes spoken aloud just minutes before by the bloated one-star at the head of the table.

“Good input, Ken,” the general croaked. “Joe, does that lineup with what your guys are telling you?”

“Absolutely, sir,” some dickhead apparently named Joe replied. “In fact, the only thing I have to add is a forced and muddled paraphrasing of Ken’s exact comment.”

Hours later, the self-important pricks stood to shake hands and congratulate each other on another solid meeting that, according to captive underlings seated away from the table, accomplished nothing.

“I think we’re all on the same page here, which is a real testament to how far we’ve come in the past few months of working together,” the general concluded. “Let’s take all of this back to our people and get to work.”

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[…] satisfied with the carnage, on the suggestion of a female army officer and under the supervision of senior officers, some buses were doused with petrol and lit on fire. By some accounts, six buses were incinerated […]

Bryan Kane
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I often look back on my army career and think how many times I have been in this meeting and how much of my life I’ll never get back

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Senior Officers Echo Meaningless Nothings In Staff Meeting

Todd McGhee
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“I would like all of you to brief me your plans so that I can give you your requirements.”

Christopher Russell Kuhner
Guest

Well, at least they all agree…

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