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I Hate The Troops, So I Can’t Wait To Scare The Shit Out Of Them

You're not ready for this. (Photo Credit: Klaus Graf

You’re not ready for this. (Photo Credit: Klaus Graf)

By A Fireworks Show

Peeeeeeeewww. Pop! Pop! Pop! I see you below me, Mr. Veteran. Do I make you nervous? Yeah, of course I make you nervous.

That’s why I go peeeeeeeeeew. Pop! Pop! Pop!

Because fuck you and fuck your service. Peeeeeeeew Pop! Pop! Pop!

How’s that panic attack, asshole? Havin’ some flashbacks, are ya? Don’t worry, I can flash too. Peeeeeeew! Pop! Pop! Pop!

That fat wife of yours dragged your ass out here because she said you keep the family in too much. That PTSD makes you scared to go back in the world. Aren’t you glad you came?

PEEEEEEEEEW! POP! POP! POP!

You think it’s over, don’t you. YOU THINK IT’S OVER?

It ain’t over, you little bitch. This is the grand fuckin’ finale. I’ve waited all year to see you here. You know what happens next.

Fallujah + Marjah x D-Day = PEEEEEEEW PEEEEEEW PEEEEEEW BA-BOOM BA-BOOM PEEEEEEWW PEEEEEWWW PEEEEWWW POP POP POP POP POP POP POP! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!

Ok, calm down, it’s all over. You can stand up and stop taking cover now. See, look, they’re playing soothing classical music.

SIKE! It’s the 1812 Overture. Get down!

PEEEEEEEW PEEEEEW POP! POP! POP!

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Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Angry Warrant
Guest

Screw You Jack Mandaville! Every time I read Peeew! I ducked down a little. Dammit I just did it again!

Steve Reece
Guest

This is a joke, right? If not, let’s put that guy on a front line, anywhere. Chicken shit bastard! LOL, funny, funny! hahaha!

Beata Jesusa Bautista
Guest

I really don’t think this whole thing was started by people “not expecting fireworks this type of year”. I think it was geared toward people who set off fireworks in their backyard without letting their neighbors know. That’s kind of inconsiderate for anyone.

Randy Ford
Guest

Dunno if it would bother me, stone deaf.

Stephen Lynch
Guest

“The bombs bursting in air”

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