I Hate The Troops, So I Can’t Wait To Scare The Shit Out Of Them
By A Fireworks Show
Peeeeeeeewww. Pop! Pop! Pop! I see you below me, Mr. Veteran. Do I make you nervous? Yeah, of course I make you nervous.
That’s why I go peeeeeeeeeew. Pop! Pop! Pop!
Because fuck you and fuck your service. Peeeeeeeew Pop! Pop! Pop!
How’s that panic attack, asshole? Havin’ some flashbacks, are ya? Don’t worry, I can flash too. Peeeeeeew! Pop! Pop! Pop!
That fat wife of yours dragged your ass out here because she said you keep the family in too much. That PTSD makes you scared to go back in the world. Aren’t you glad you came?
PEEEEEEEEEW! POP! POP! POP!
You think it’s over, don’t you. YOU THINK IT’S OVER?
It ain’t over, you little bitch. This is the grand fuckin’ finale. I’ve waited all year to see you here. You know what happens next.
Fallujah + Marjah x D-Day = PEEEEEEEW PEEEEEEW PEEEEEEW BA-BOOM BA-BOOM PEEEEEEWW PEEEEEWWW PEEEEWWW POP POP POP POP POP POP POP! BOOM! BOOM! BOOM!
Ok, calm down, it’s all over. You can stand up and stop taking cover now. See, look, they’re playing soothing classical music.
SIKE! It’s the 1812 Overture. Get down!
PEEEEEEEW PEEEEEW POP! POP! POP!