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Sergeant Major Pretty Sure That Captain Was Being Disrespectful

BAGRAM AIR BASE, Afghanistan — The Command Sergeant Major of Headquarters Battalion, XVIII Airborne Corps is pretty sure that EOD captain he was just talking with was being disrespectful to him, sources confirmed this morning.

“It wasn’t anything I could put my finger on,” said Sgt. Maj. Kevin Bush, rubbing his chin, “but I’m pretty sure that little shit was being disrespectful.”

The captain was conducting an informal briefing to the J3 and some of the Counter-IED Working Group on recent trends and bomber profiles, and was showing the men some actual evidence recovered from a bombing.

“So I interrupt him to tell him to straighten up,” Bush told reporters. “He had one hand in his pocket, he was wearing a Texas state flag on his plate carrier — completely against regulations — had his sleeves rolled up … hell, his pants were even outside his boots.”

“It just looked completely unprofessional,” added Bush, pausing to emit a streamer of tobacco juice into a Styrofoam cup with a piece of napkin in the bottom.

According to Bush, the captain stopped talking, stared at him, and then began to profusely apologize.

“At the time I accepted his apology, but the more I think about it now, the more I think he might have been sarcastic, like, insubordinate almost,” said Bush. “There was all this ‘I’ll straighten myself out, Sergeant Major,’ and ‘You’re right, it’s no excuse I’ve just come from being outside the wire for 36 hours, Sergeant Major’ and ‘I wish everybody could look as professional as you, Sergeant Major, with your spotless, tailored uniform and clean-shaven, freshly-showered face, Sergeant Major.”

Bush frowned, thinking about the incident.

“And then there was how everybody was grinning. I assumed they were just enjoying seeing a wayward young officer get put in his place, but now that I ponder it … were they … were they laughing at me?”

At press time, Sgt. Maj. Bush was hopelessly mired in an existential crisis while thinking over the incident.

NOW: ‘Eccentric’ Sergeant Major Is Actually Completely Insane »

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Saamon Legoski
1 year 9 months ago

I don’t remember their ranks (or their names for that matter), but they were at FOB Lagman several years ago. They weren’t a part of my unit.

Mike Barranti
1 year 10 months ago

I saw something like this happen back in ’03 at Warhorse. The rule on the camp was helmets and body armor outside of the tents. A captain with a ratty uniform and soft-cap walks out of the brigade TOC and jumps in the back of a pick-up with a few other similarly attired guys. The SGM comes around the corner and yells at him, “Hey, who do you think you are, SF?” The Captain looks at him and says “Yeah”, then the truck drives off.

Roger Brock
2 years 2 months ago

I will admit, I won’t lose one wink of sleep over this.

Richard Hernandez
2 years 2 months ago

Woe CSM. The Capt really put it to you 🙂

Matthew Quiroz
2 years 2 months ago

The CSM in that photo is one hell of a soldier. Served with him in the 82nd ABN….and I’d like to see somebody stand toe to toe with him and tell him his rank is worthless…. lol. The following beat down would be worth watching.. 🙂


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