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I Am A Reflective Belt Of The United States Of America

I am a reflective belt of the United States of America.

My name is “that fucking bullshit PT belt I gotta wear.”

I encircle the mighty American soldier.

I stand watch in every conflict zone and protect my wearer.

Look down across your chest and see me.


I stand for safety, but more for hate and discontent.

I am yellow.

I am reflective.

I am proud.


I bow to no one!

I am recognized all over the Army.

I am despised — I am thrown in the trash.

I am hated — I am put on last.

I am loved — by E-8s and E-9s only.

I am disrespected — by junior soldiers who have not undergone a lobotomy.


I have fought in every battle of every war since the late 1980s.

I was worn in West Germany to protect against the communists.

I was there in Desert Storm, to ensure soldiers did not get run over by a Humvee.

I was there at the Pentagon on 9/11, in the buttpack of Special Forces soldiers in Afghanistan,

and there on duty above Camp Fallujah while privates guarded their own privates.

The people of Kuwait, Qatar, Iraq, Afghanistan, and Turkey

know me as a banner of total idiocy.


I was dirty, battleworn and tired,

but my soldiers berated me.

I have been burned, torn and trampled

in every country I have been worn by my own soldiers.

But it did not hurt, for I am invincible.

And soldiers who wear me are invincible.

I am proud.


My name is that fucking bullshit PT belt I gotta wear.

Long may I be worn.

Sort by:   newest | oldest | most voted
Chawl Shepard

I wonder if I can get one through clothing sales at Ft. McCoy, Wisconsin? I retired before they loaned those safety belts to us in the Army Reserves…

Jeff Casper

It blows the mind. The Air Force actually rewrote the traffic AFI and took out the requirement for reflective belts and vests while riding your motorcycle. This isn’t the Air Force I signed up for, maybe I can go from Blue to Green. You guys have the right mindset.

Patrick Castronovo

Doesn’t that belt give an easy target to the enemy?! STUPID!

Tanner Austin Shewer

Better than a rape whistle

Steve Kang



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