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Creepy Guy In S-2 Thinks You Have Really Nice Skin

The following bit of disturbing news was broken to you after morning PT.

So, the creepy guy in S-2 was overheard commenting on your vibrant, glowing complexion, going on to debate with himself on what exfoliant you use to best preserve the suppleness of your hide.

No, not the halitosis guy with Coke-bottle glasses. The really creepy one. You know, the shifty-eyed, daywalking mouthbreather that’s always muttering to himself. Yeah, the one who just got his braces off. Him.

Did you know his ringtone is “Goodbye Horses”? Yeah, I know. Fucking weird, man.

Apparently he’s up for promotion, too. I guess his background checked out.

Anyway, I gotta take a shit. Later, dude.

EDITOR’S NOTE: At press time, sources reported that the creepy guy was last seen talking to a printout of your Facebook profile picture, saying, “I wish I had skin like that. Maybe someday I will.”

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Allen Everett Richards
Guest

It is after all, the modern Marine Corp. I am afraid you will seeing a lot more of this. The good news is, you won’t have to leave the base to get a massage with a happy ending.

Jake Zajac
Guest

has anyone made a “lotion on the skin” comment yet? I bet it’ll be a hit.

Jc Rivera
Guest

“Can you help me load these maps into the back if this hummer? I’m on light duty.”

Evan Callahan
Guest

It puts the lotion on its skin…

Anonymous
Guest

If he keeps going off about my white hairy Scotch-Irish skin, I may have to give him some wall-to-wall counseling.

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