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Army Memo Claims Hand-Washing And Gas Masks Will Prevent Ebola Infection

BETHESDA, Md. — Regular hand washing and eating a good hearty breakfast are among the preventive steps recommended for controlling the outbreak of Ebola, according to a new memorandum from the U.S. Army’s biodefense laboratory.

The memo from the U.S. Army Medical Research Institute of Infectious Disease (USAMRIID), which Duffel Blog obtained, advises soldiers and Marines heading into Liberia to maintain proper hygiene to include brushing teeth as well as shaving any and all mustaches. It also advises troops to get weekly haircuts and keep their hands out of their pockets to help stop the virus’ spread.

The document comes as more than 3,000 US troops deploy to West Africa to catch the virus, which has so far infected almost 10 American citizens.

Once troops make their way into the Ebola “hot zone” however, protective measures become more extreme, advising the regular wear of the M-40 field protective mask and outerwear garments — known as “MOPP Gear” — which the memo says is “100 percent guaranteed to prevention contraction of the disease.”

Still, the military is being proactive in its “War on Ebola,” which insiders have been calling “Operation: Enduring Anywhere but Iraq.” As deployments to the region continue, combat medics will be trained in critical lifesaving techniques, such as the issuing of 800mg of Ibuprofen, and advising soldiers to change their socks on a regular basis.

When asked for comment, a spokesman for Africa Command said he was excited the unit was finally doing something worth taking phone calls about, but could not not discuss ongoing military operations.

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JoZef Banderas
Guest

DoD to issue ‘fukitol’ capsules…..

Bryan Diesch
Guest

I think as long as they get a briefing every morning that covers not beating your spouse, not drinking and driving, and keeping your head on a swivel, they will be just *fine* while they are in country…..

Kelli Couch
Guest

Proof once again that motrin is a miracle drug. I hope that USAF begins dropping in pallets of motrin to help the suffering. God bless ’em.

Randy Bartlett
Guest

Eating a healthy Army breakfast won’t work until they start cooking with lard again.

Tim Walters
Guest

what about foot powder, changing socks is good, but with out proper foot powder it is pointless?

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