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Coup D’état: Dennis Rodman Takes Over North Korea In Violent Overthrow

PYONGYANG, North Korea — North Korean leader Kim Jong-un has been deposed in a violent overthrow led by Dennis Rodman, the former NBA basketball star who had been serving as Mayor of Pyongyang since earlier this year.

According to two high-level sources, Rodman jailed Jong-un and his top lieutenants before naming himself Supreme Worm of the Democratic People’s Republic Of Korea, Duffel Blog has learned. The sources said that Rodman seized power after he won a game of H-O-R-S-E against the former leader he once called his “best friend.”

“Entire glorious revolution unite behind great and dear leader Dennis Rodman,” read a news release from state-run Korean Central News Agency, which did not have any mention of Kim Jong-un. A search of the archives on KCNA’s website showed his name was removed from previous news stories.

In addition to seizing power in the country, Rodman was spotted drinking absinthe at his new mansion, and he had ordered all men in the country to wear wedding gowns. In a rare mea culpa, intelligence officials admitted they were completely blindsided by the new developments, since CIA was unable to tell Kim Jong-un apart from other Koreans.

The U.S. State Department released a statement saying it was “cautiously optimistic” about the reign of Rodman, a man even weirder than current and former North Korean leaders. Since he once declared himself a bisexual and married himself, foreign policy experts believe Rodman may renew bilateral talks between North Korea and the United States, and join NATO.

Duffel Blog investigative correspondents Drew and Jay-B contributed reporting.

 

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Robert Duncan
Guest

Technically, after giving the little nork whatever he did by hugging him, it’s his.
To the victor goes the spoils, and I am going to wash my hands again.

Angry Warrant
Guest

So… The plan finally comes together. First Rodman FAKES his own execution in December 2013 so that no one would suspect him. Then he laid low (under Cindy Lauper perhaps) and pounced – yes pounced – to take control of the country not a year later.

Well played, Dennis.

Roscoe Martin
Guest
Let’s take a look at how George W. Bush and/or the Republican Party dealt with North Korea those 16 years starting in 1993 though 2009. Another example of the Republican Party’s malevolent blathering, bloviating and pontificating? During Bubba’s eight years Republican Party excoriated Bubba Clinton for doing nothing in stopping North Korea’s pursuit of the atomic bomb. Point, well made. And what did the Republican Party accomplish during the George W. Bush eight year ‘Reign of Error?’ Absolutely nothing. Squat! They watched while Kim Jong Il produced enough plutonium-239 to produce 100 atomic bombs. The Republican Party’s bluster amounted to… Read more »
Robert Estlinbaum
Guest

Just stupidm

Pat Cody
Guest

At last! Good hard news. Long live the deeder leeder.

wpDiscuz

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