Marines Arrive In Liberia To Gather Blankets For Syrian Rebels

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MONROVIA, Liberia — About 100 Marines with Marine Air-Ground Task Force Crisis Response Africa have arrived in Monrovia to join the fight against the Ebola virus ahead of Army troops who will arrive later this month.

Dubbed Operation Firewater, their mission will be to gather blankets, pillows, and bed pans to provide interim resupply to Syrian rebels currently embroiled in combat operations with ISIS forces throughout their region of conflict, according to Pentagon spokesman Gen. Jeffery Amherst.

The Pentagon wants to continue sending humanitarian aid to the rebels in the hope they will soon be capable of routing the self-proclaimed Islamic State in conjunction with ongoing airstrikes. Simultaneously, American troops will support Liberian health care efforts by providing logistical support in removing infected materials and by constructing new medical facilities.

“This is all part of a complex operation in support of crises in both regions,” said Amherst. “We don’t want either threat to spread to the United States and infect our young people with pathogens or propaganda.”

While unable to determine exactly where the logistical aid would be sent, Amherst did confirm regional commanders would use a vetting system to determine which opposition forces will get the Liberian resupply. The process would include the help of “regional partners” to help resupply critical areas like the city of Raqqa.

“Anyone can ship arms to local fighters,” Amherst said.”But when it starts getting a little chilly during the campaign, those rebels will gratefully swaddle themselves in a warm, fuzzy blanket born of pure American goodwill.”

Duffel Blog intrepid reporter Epic Blunder contributed to this article.