Seasonal, Pumpkin Spice MREs Set For Release

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NATICK, Mass. — Fall is arriving early as the Pentagon’s Combat Feeding Directorate announced the nation’s service members will be able to enjoy new seasonal versions of Meals, Ready-to-Eat (MREs), Duffel Blog has learned.

“The Directorate has worked continuously to update MREs to reflect the current preferences of our armed forces,” said Phyllis Ray, a senior food technologist. “We’ve seen an odd trend recently showing our warfighters prefer foods that actually taste good and reflect seasonal foods American’s enjoy back home.”

Ray went on to elaborate that a breakthrough in food preservation and barista technologies have allowed the Directorate to concoct the next generation of MRE flavors.

The following seasonal MREs are scheduled to be rolled out this fall:

  • Pumpkin Spice Taco Pasta
  • Spiced Chai Black Beans
  • Lasagna Latte
  • Venti-tarian Delight

This October the Combat Feeding Directorate is also expected to release an all candy Halloween-themed MRE which has proved popular in test evaluations.

“This is the best MRE ever,” said one evaluator through a mouthful of candy corn. “It’ll make going to the field totally worth it, but you still won’t be able to shit for a week.”

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