Seasonal, Pumpkin Spice MREs Set For Release

mre loading
Sponsored by GovX, which offers deep military discounts on gear, apparel & events – so you can save your money for the important things, like Ripits and tattoos.

NATICK, Mass. — Fall is arriving early as the Pentagon’s Combat Feeding Directorate announced the nation’s service members will be able to enjoy new seasonal versions of Meals, Ready-to-Eat (MREs), Duffel Blog has learned.

“The Directorate has worked continuously to update MREs to reflect the current preferences of our armed forces,” said Phyllis Ray, a senior food technologist. “We’ve seen an odd trend recently showing our warfighters prefer foods that actually taste good and reflect seasonal foods American’s enjoy back home.”

Ray went on to elaborate that a breakthrough in food preservation and barista technologies have allowed the Directorate to concoct the next generation of MRE flavors.

The following seasonal MREs are scheduled to be rolled out this fall:

  • Pumpkin Spice Taco Pasta
  • Spiced Chai Black Beans
  • Lasagna Latte
  • Venti-tarian Delight

This October the Combat Feeding Directorate is also expected to release an all candy Halloween-themed MRE which has proved popular in test evaluations.

“This is the best MRE ever,” said one evaluator through a mouthful of candy corn. “It’ll make going to the field totally worth it, but you still won’t be able to shit for a week.”

SEE ALSO: Military Quietly Phasing Out Horse Meat MREs »

Can you help us? We aren't some gigantic media corporation. Duffel Blog is literally just one guy editing a bunch of articles written by military contributors — all on a shoestring budget. If you love what we do, please donate a few bucks to keep our doors open. Even the smallest amount is a big help.

The White House

White House Security Replaced By Ugandan Contractors

Syrian Man

Local Syrian Man Learns ‘No ISIS Here’ In English For Potential Work As US Translator