FORT HOOD, Texas —First Lieutenant Kevin Kotowski is excitedly anticipating his upcoming year-long deployment to Afghanistan in support of Operation Freedom Sentinel, friends say. In particular, the sources add, Kotowski will now have all the time he needs to get current on hot TV shows and video games.
“It’s been, like, forever since I got enough free time to watch anything,” said Kotowski as he stood in line at CIF to get his deployment RFI. “My last deployment was in 2011 to Iraq, and since then, between work and my wife, I just haven’t stayed caught up. I’ve had to clap my hands over my ears when people discuss Breaking Bad, Game Of Thrones, Mad Men, or Justified.”
Kotowski then explained that in his deployed position, as Assistant Chief Junior Operations/Exploitation Officer In Charge (2), USFOR-A [B-Team], he will have a lot more free time to catch up on these shows.
“That and video games,” added Kotowski as he signed for his multicam neck gater which he will leave in the sealed plastic but which an obese retired E7 CIF worker will insist, four years from now, has cat hair on it. “I still haven’t played Far Cry 4, Skyrim or any of the Arkham games. I gotta get my crap together. Luckily with the deployment, I’ll finally have breathing room to do so.”
Sources maintained that Kotowski is also planning to get caught up on long-overdue shows such as The West Wing and The Wire, and older video games such as Fallout: New Vegas.
“There’s whole expansions to that game that I haven’t even downloaded. Been quite awhile since I sniped a Super Mutant in the face with my stealthy lesbian assassin in the Wasteland,” said Kotowski. “I’m looking forward to it.”