THE PENTAGON – Air Force spokesman Col. Marty Turner announced today that the Air Force is asking the European Union for bailout funds to pay for the next fiscal year’s F-35 development program.

The move comes after the Pentagon denied the Air Force’s request to cut an additional 19 Army Brigade Combat Teams (BCTs) to pay for another squadron of the fighters. The F-35 has the dubious distinction of being the most expensive military weapon system in recorded history.

“We really had no choice,” explained Turner to assembled reporters after announcing the bailout request. “They only agreed to cut two Army brigades, which barely pays for a single aircraft. Since the EU is looking to field the F-35 in the future it’s really in their best interest to make sure this thing keeps getting funded.”