Marine Gives Birth to Record-Breaking 12lb 8oz MRE Food Baby
CAMP PENDLETON, CA — Sources at 3rd Battalion 1st Marine Regiment (3/1) confirmed reports that Pfc. Alex Leddy delivered a record-breaking 12 pound, 8 ounce MRE food baby at 5:43AM this morning on Range K2.
"Pfc. Leddy is expected to make a full recovery following a difficult labor, which was triggered by eating a packet of coffee grounds while smoking a Marlboro Red at the end of a month-long field op," said Sgt. Maj. J. Melendez, 3/1 Regiment Sergeant Major.
Though he admits being proud of a 3/1 Marine holding the record, Melendez claims Marines coming from the schoolhouse aren't educated on conception, often resulting in carelessness.
According to the Journal of Military Science, MRE food babies can form when Jalepeno Cheese Spread mixes with Pan Coated Chocolate Discs to create a plug. The plug then forms an incubator for both Mexican Style Chicken and Beef Stews.
"Rat-fucking has serious consequences," said Hospital Corpsman 2nd Class Joe Espinosa, Bravo Company's corpsman. "And most…
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