FORT BENNING, Ga. — In the wake of an Army Times report on abysmal force-wide marksmanship, Army leaders have returned fire with a quick solution to raise scores.

“After 15 years of non-stop deployments, we can’t expect our troops to be experienced in much more than salsa dancing and eating ice cream,” said Gen. Scott Miller, commanding general of the Maneuver Center of Excellence. “When we upgraded qualification ranges to the digital world, though, most soldiers showed minor improvement immediately.”

The new qualification option is going viral, according to Miller. “If the computer ranges are down for any reason, we also have a paper qualification range, where soldiers simply poke holes in the silhouettes with a pen. Most soldiers can get a pretty good score on that one, if they don’t miss.”